Paper Memories

Chapter 15-I

Chapter 15-I

Ricos voice startled me. "Anong dapat ibalik sayo?"

Binasa ko ulit ang nakasulat sa papel, maikling tula lang naman; tinago ko agad yun. When I finally turned around I saw Ricos holding a kitten. He found me near the tree shades in the field. "Wala...Imagination lang ... Pero kung sa concept, gusto ko lang isulat ang tungkol sa mga bagay na hindi kayang mahalin..."

He just smirked." Kung una pa lang wala ka nang binigay?"

I raised my brow." You're just like my boyfriend---pasulpot-sulpot."

"I haven't met him, yet. Kasama mo po siya kaninang lunch diba?" Ricos giggled, nakikipaglaro siya sa pusa." But if you have him, why would you write poems like that? Poem about broken and ugly things? Nobody loves them, Ate. But you're not like them----you're not unloved."

"I'm just overthinking..."

"Do you think others would stop loving broken things?"

"I don't think like that; some things are only broken on the wrong eyes." I tap the spot beside me so that Ricos would sit beside me. Napansin kong may galos ang hawak niyang pusa." They're holding on to it not because it's all they have and nothing else; it's simply what they choose to have."

Ricos softly asked." Do you think everyone deserve to be happy, Ate?"

I reach out for his head. Pawala na yung sugat niya nung isa, at kung may scars man na matitira sana matabunan na lang yun ng lapnos niya." I don't know Ricos--- but what I know happiness for the weak is temporary. Humans are weak in general---- you're one of the more vulnerable lot."

"Aw, I just got called weak by Ate Sheena."

"Consider it the last straw of my sympathy."

Mas lalong nawala ang ngiti niya."....Ate, Galit ka pa ba sa kin? Nung sa tour?"

I look at him at the eye like he wanted." I am. You didn't properly say sorry; you just cried and cried. Nakuha mo lang humingi ng tawad nung birthday ko at sa chat lang. Let me remind you... You're not a child, Ricos. You're eighteen already; you keep calling me Ate, but you're inappropriate sometimes. Wome-girls and boys are different, and society sets norms and rules of what is proper between the two. People couldn't be treated the same; equality is a word too weak to even describe how it works. Do you understand? "

Ricos just nod." Naiitindihan ko po, Ate..."

Napahawak na lang ako sa sentido ko." Oo, ba talaga, Ricos?"

Ricos shrug, as if dismissing me as falls back on his little world.Nagpupuminglas na sa kamay niya ng pusa. Baka masugatan din siya! "I won't upset you again, so I didn't tell anyone what happened. So.. Please forgive me, Ate."

Tinabig ko na lang ang kamay niya." Let go of it! Tingnan mo, may hiwa yung binti niyan. Baka magaya ka pa, baka makalmot ka pa, Ricos."

"NO! I don't want to. I'll treat him. Ayaw kong matulad sa iba!" Inilayo ang kuting sa akin. I was startled, I almost wanted to cover his mouth. " It's all alone in the archi dept! Its mine now! Maraming inaabanduna, iniiwan at hindi minamahal. I hate that! Dadalin ko siya sa clinic! Ayaw ko siya iwan ng mag-isa!"

"Don't scream! I get it! Go keep it." Inis ko sagot.

"G-gusto ko lang naman tulungan, Ate..." Hikbi naman niya.

I gritted my teeth and stood up, I can't leave him alone. Kinuha ko mula sa kanya ang pusa ng walang paalaman, at hindi naman nakaangal si Ricos. Sa katunayan maluha-luha pa nga siyang tinititigan ako." You're feverish, Ricos. Mainit ka paghawak ko sayo kanina, unahin mo muna ang sarili mo."

Napahawak si Ricos sa saril niyang noo."...H-Hindi naman."

"You leave me with no choice, sasamahan na kita sa clinic para dito sa kaibigan mo at makainom ka ng gamot." Paliwanag ko. Pero ngayon si Ricos nakayuko siya at tila ba nahihiya." ...Are you kind to helpless animals because you're sickly?"

"Shouldn't everyone be kind to everybody? Dapat ba may may sakit ka muna bago ka magka-empathy sa ibang tao o animals?? "Ricos' itching to snatch the kitten from me but I didn't let him." Animals are innocent because they don't know right or wrong; nagiging mas masahol lang ang tao kasi sila dapat yung mas may alam pero hindi pinili magpakabuti."

"Winners get to be kind, Ricos--- be one." I jest.

"You sound like a tryrant, Ate! You'd scare actual kids." Nguso ni Ricos.

I raised free hands to humor him." Anong ginagawa ko sa kanila?"

Ricos scrunched his brow, he skips to ran after me. I slow down my pace again so he could walk beside me. May sinat pa naman siya, ayaw kong mag-c-collapse siya sakin. " Ate, when I talk with the people in our block half of them told me you're kind and mature--- and the other describe you as selfish person and a loser. Halo-halo ang viewpoint nila sayo ---- pero ako gusto ko kilalanin ka, Ate."

"That's not exactly for the best..."

"Why not? Ayaw mo ba sakin?"

I raised my brow as I observe the little movement Ricos makes, all while I wonder how cruel uniqueness is. Sinubukan niya ulit agawin ang kuting." Ricos, ako na magbubuhat sa kanya. Huwag mo na hawakan. I won't steal this kitty from you."

"...Ate, do you have a little sibling? Or a younger friend?"

"Ah, there's one. Si Ronald. He's too mature and self-reliant for his age ----"

Ricos grab my hand and help it above his scars." Do you like him more or me?"

I raised my eyebrow; I'm seeing his face at an angle without his burns.." That's a secret. He also calls me Ate. Pero si Ronald---- masyado pa siyang bata, mas bata pa sayo. Kuya ka rin niya nga dapat eh. B-bakit kung saan-saan nakakarating ang tanong mo? Let's just focus going on the clinic shall we? Do you feel lightheaded already?"

Ricos tilted his head."...Do you hate weak men, Ate? "

I giggled to lighten the mood. Kaya pala siya ganto, naiinsecure siya na siya ang inaasikaso ko. "If I'm going to hate weakness, I might as well hate women too, don't you think?"