Paper Memories

Stand-Alone Chapter: Percival Alexander Tuares

Stand Alone Chapter:
Percival Alexander Tuares

"Are you looking for me, Percival?"

It's nearly half year since he have exist just for her. If she commands him to disappear, he will. If she wish for him to come back, he have no right to refuse. Pero minsan nararamdaman na ni Percival na hindi na siya kailangan ng mismong tagapaglikha niya." Ah, yes. I thought you fell asleep in the attic, Hon. Nasa baba ka na pala, natapos mo na ba yung props na ginagawa niyo?"

"Oo na, pero bukas may dadalhin ulit ako dito..."

"Oh, then. I'll see what I can help you with."

"May tumutulong na sa akin, hindi na ako magpupuyat." Sheena responds as she glances towards the ajar door of the attic." You should sleep too, it's not like I'd just disappear when you're not looking. Hindi ako katulad mo.""

Percival just nod--- but he couldn't sleep like she ask.

Pinalipas niya ang bawat segundo sa loob ng attic, nagkalat ang mga kahon na puno ng theater props habang sa may study desk lang ang maayos. Percicval didn't dare to move where those things are, but a solitary paper by the window caught his attention.

It's pressed between Sheena's journal --- an old and torn sketch.

He couldn't resist but grabbed it. Percival gaze at the rawness of the drawing and how the paper is worn down by age. It's half burnt. Did it survive a fiery fire? Or was it salvage? Percival could only wonder why his beloved still hold on to this. Sheena won't look the canvas where he came from. He's her painting but she just wouldn't believe that! But she kept this wretched drawing in plain sight. He wants to know why, but she hates it if he ask.

So he left the house, and treads on the darkness of the night.

Percival keeps walking to feel, his monologues louder to prove that he's here.

Odd beings like him should just cherish what they have. He needs to simply exist; his body and soul just need to love and worship Sheena. Percival never needed to question his existence or non-existence; he used to. But now he's under the agony of thinking past her. Is this the humanity she wanted? He's real. He's the outcome of her madness. Percival wanted to tell her that! He's human already! Even if he's not, he's a Sheena dream come true, right?

Percival chuckles at his own thoughts.

Napakuyom ang kamao niya nang tumigil siya sa gitna ng daan.

The cool air crashes through him. Percival felt alone. And when he looks up, the star-filled night sky seems to mock him for thinking something like him even has the choice to exist or not. The silence that surrounds him echoes his sense of isolation; the shadow drapes over him. He saw the flickering lights in the windows of each house. Oh, maybe he's not alone afterall; there are people and a world out there somewhere, waiting to be watched, envied, and for somebody new.

He keeps walking forward, but he knows he needs to come home.

But for now, he wants to be by himself.

And run away from the corruption of her ideals.So that he would no longer see the line in this dichotomous world; he wouldn't need to just split things into two. Maybe there's need to see the shackles of the lights and the dark. Of dreams and failures. And of man and god.

Akala ni Percival matatapos na ang gabi-hindi pa pala.

Percival saw a person waiting beneath a streetlight with a cigarette on his lip. Percival breathed; he felt as if he had already seen this scene. He's walking and walking now nearer the streetlight, while the stranger is deep in his thoughts. Percival couldn't quite tell if the guy is in his teenage years or if he's older; his appearance is youthful and vulnerable with his long-sleeve shirt and dark cap. Yet, when Percival saw a glimpse of his eye, he saw the maturity of an adult who grew up too fast and hatred that a human shouldn't be able to carry. Then a memory flashes through Perival's mind.

Nilagpasan ni Percival ang estranghero---he couldn't believe this irony.

But the stranger spoke, shattering Percival's unbeating heart; he's unacknowledged, dismissed, and rejected by the stranger as if he doesn't exist. Why? Why can't that person talk to Percival instead? Why not confide those words to him instead? That hatred and disappointment---- Percival knows who it is for! Why does a stranger dare to say that before him? But before Percival could do anything, he was left behind.

"So here's where you are, kaya wala ka pala sa kwarto mo." Sheena's here. Percival look at her in horror. Did they met? Hindi niya nahabol ang lalake. Nawala na lang ito ng parang bula. Now, his goddess is here. Her hands on her jacket, and her smiling missing." Akala ko umalis ka na naman, and you do that to just to make me crazy."

"I-I'm just went for a walk. M-may nakasalubong ka ba, Sheena?"

"Huh? Wala naman. Why are you so pale? What's wrong?"

Percival suddenly grabbed the right side of his face, making his girlfriend worry even more. He was panting, dark spots enveloping his vision. As if reminding him that his body can't stay in this world for too long. That even without his beloved's order, he was bound to perish. Be discarded like Sheena's old canvas, and be torn like the sketches she hates. He's just her fucking painting." Sheena, I became real for you. Aren't you happy? Dapat ba iba ang naging totoo? Paano kung hindi lang ako? Kung ibang artworks mo ang naging totoo magiging masaya ka ba? "

"I don't know... I don't love everything I draw and paint after all."

Author's Note:
Stand-alone chapters do not follow the timeline of regular chapters; events that would occur in this section may be scenes that already happened in the past or plotlines that would happen in the future.