First Lies Are Never Forgotten

Chapter 22

Joshua

I kept Joey at Aaron's house tonight and drove Scarlett to the hospital. She said she is fine, but she isn't.

She told me to leave, but I didn't.

I don't know why I stayed, I just knew she'd need me tonight.

She didn't look fine. She said everything is fine, but the word 'fine' from Scarlett has lost its meaning from how depressing it sounded from her mouth. And how much she said it.

"You're here." She looks up when I open the door to her secret room in the hospital. "You're...still." She sighs and looks away, "You came." She finally says.

"You called." She called me while I was waiting in her office and told me to come up here. I thought her vague instructions were weird at first, but I could not resist not knowing where these instructions lead to.

"You like my little house here?" She tries to sound light, but I know she can't.

"It is..." I look around and smile. It is very Scarlett. Red, dim lights and her signature expensive taste all around the room. "Cozy."

She hums while cloning her tired eyes.

"You save everyone." The sentence escapes me.

"What?" Her eyes are still closed.

"Who saves you, Scarlett?"

She chuckles and says, "I do not need saving, My knight in shining armor." She really is that tired. She's sarcastic, called me 'her' whatever that was, and she's almost smiling. Wow.

"How was the surgery?"

"Good. A clot. We got it early. We'll keep monitoring her though."

"Here you go." I hand her the cup in my hands.

"I do-"

"It's not coffee." She's trying to stop coffee this late. I know that because she talked about it with Addie. I was listening. I'm always listening...I thought to myself. "It's late. It's tea."

"English tea?"

"Yes." And that is my mistake.

"Where did you get English tea here?" Fuck.

"I stole it."

"You-"

"Shut up and take a sip." She doesn't argue and tastes it. From the small smile on her face, I think this is a success. I stole English tea from dermatology, because her peds lounge only has lousy hospital coffee.

I take a seat next to her on the bed. She sets the cup down, and her head leans down over my shoulder and we both get surprised by her sudden contact, but we don't say anything.

We stay silent for a while until I do something I have never done before. I let someone in. Or...at least...I try.

"Joey's mom died in this hospital."

She freezes. No movements, no breathing.

"I didn't love her. I thought I did, that is why we dated, but then after she left me I realized I never loved her. 9 months after the break up she shows up at my door with a little, new born baby in her arms. Joey's mom was...kind, calm and nice. She was pretty. She had a good job. She was a good person."

"I was ready to propose, have the family I always wanted, even without love. I would've been good to her."

I sigh. "I knew she was a good person when she gave me Joey and told me the truth. She told me she's not like me, she said that is why we broke up. I am...bored. I want a house and family and a fairytale family. She said she thought she was dating a player who'd show her a good time and not buy her a ring. She said she wanted to be free, she wanted to live her life, she said she doesn't want children now...or ever."

I wish I could read her mind now.

"She didn't want to be a mother and I respected that. I didn't want to force her to stay because I know what that changes into. I don't want her to resent JJ because resentment turns into hate. I never ever want my daughter to have a mother who hates her. All I want is a mother who truly adores her. A good family. The best support system. Aaron and I tried our best but there was something always missing for sure. Mom's are the most important people in anyone's life and she didn't have that, so I get it. I got it when JJ called her teachers 'mom', and she tried to get me a single mom to date. I got it when she cried and got so mad at me for trying to talk her out of the idea of.. Us being engaged. I get that my daughter wants a mom, I want that for her too. It breaks my heart when she got a mom, it is-"

"Me."

"I was going to say because of a deal, red." If she trunks this into a fight, I might just kill her here.

"How did she die?"

"Car accident. She was living her life and drinking while driving, apparently." I hated that day they called me here. I was her last known emergency contact, and I hated being here when she died.

'I'm sorry."

"I am not sad."

"I am sorry that the deal is breaking your heart." Oh.

We remain silent again.

She raises her head after a couple of minutes and looks up at me.

"I hate sleeping alone." She whispers and my heart drops.

"Me too." My voice is hoarse from how much her closeness is affecting me. I can feel the tension as the air rises between us and I can see the tiredness in her eyes.

She's exhausted.

"Come here." I slide back to the bed until my back hits the headboard, open my arms and wait for her. She hesitates for a moment, but eventually crawls over me.

I hug her tightly and wait for her to hug me back.

"I almost lost Mia today." Her voice breaks and before I could say anything, she hugs me back and buries her face in my chest.

I let her take it all out. I drown in the sound of her soft cry and in the feel of her in my arms.

We stay like this until we both fall asleep.

I sleep to the actions I made to comfort Scarlett Moore. I stroked her hair and her back. I let her cry and I held her tight. I almost kissed the top of her head.

My sworn enemy. The one I hate. The one who I thought was the worst woman in the world, just like my mother, but is apparently not.

There is more to Scarlett Moore and I intend to find out. I just hope she is not addictive. I just hope I don't like how much she gets me high on whatever I find.

I sleep with her cuddling between my arms and the sound of her tranquil, small snores.

She snores. I hate her snores, they make me smile.