First Lies Are Never Forgotten

Chapter 36

Joshua

I can't take her saying she hates me like this anymore. I can't take this feeling I have everytime I touch her. I can't hold myself back from kissing her anymore. I want to touch her lips with mine., I want to know her taste and I want to bite her lips until I taste her blood. I want her. I want to understand her. I want her to give me a reason to not hate her this much so I can have her or give me a reason so big to hate her this much and fuck her either way into oblivion.

I stop pacing and look at her.

"Stand up on your knees. Middle of the bed." My low voice almost sounds too low to even be heard.

"Absolutely not."

"Stop saying no."

"Stop acting like this!"

"I am acting like this because of you!"

"Why!"

"Because I want you to fight for me even though you hate me. I want you to fight for Joey if you really love her. Because I have never never met anyone like you. It is maddening. I live for my daughter. Only her. I was fine like that, but now all I want, all I can think of, breathe because of and want to live for is you! I want to worry about it, I want to care about you. I want you both to be my everything, but you are...you. You are making it difficult. You are making me hate you more than I already do! Because I want you to fight for us. For a family we could have!"

"I have a family!" She shouts. She stills and then whispers, "Had."

My heart at that moment halts. I feel all the anger drain out of me and my lungs just crush together.

She gets off the bed and says, "You thought I was like her. You thought I was this vicious monster and you hate it! This is not about you really hating who I am, you hate this. You hate admitting you got it wrong. You hate how wrong you are about me and it is making you go mad!" She takes a few steps closer to me and screams into my face, "You hate me because I am everything you really want! You hate me because I truly do hate who you are and you can not change that. Because you are not the man for me. You want a happy family, a perfect one. I. Am. Terrible. Flawed. A bloody witch. Satan. I will not be in a perfect family. I will not give you or your daughter happiness other than during this month because of a bloody deal. Wake up! You hate me because you know I am not the right woman for you and your daughter either, but you want me."

"I fucking hate you!" I shout while my face is inches away from her.

She goes on her tiptoes and gets her face closer to mine. "I hate you more!"

He stayed this close for a couple of seconds. Breathing each other's angry breaths. In and out. In and out. Neither one of us calms down. We only grow more furious with each other.

"Fuck it." I breathe before I slam my mouth on hers.

I take her mouth in mine and hold her face to mine.

She pushes me away and slaps my face. "No!"

I breathe while we glare at each other and then we meet each other's mouths in the middle.

Her body crashes with mine and her tongue clashes with mine in a battle of heat, fury and rage.

I could build a shrine and worship the gasp she just did when my teeth dug into her lower lip.

I pick her up, separating our mouths for just one second, making her breathe my name in neediness, "Joshua". She said it like it was her salvation, the only name she wanted to call out and the only thing that could give her life. "Come here, sweetheart." Our mouths connect again, while her legs wrap around my waist.