First Lies Are Never Forgotten

Chapter 41

Scarlett

I have been talking too much today. I laughed and smiled at strangers. Complete strangers. I seemed kind and sweet. I liked being kind and sweet. I made a couple of new friends which sound like I am a kid in kindergarten, but I loved it.

I talked with so many doctors that I have admired for years, I shared many of my thoughts on some surgeries I think we could approve with new techniques, and actually enjoyed it. I was never the kind of person who shares this much. I shared about my work mostly not my personal life, but I take it as a win.

All that happened today was a success and I could only thank my fiancé. The man who kept his arms around me, making me feel safe. The man who praised everything I said. The man who keeps looking at me like I am his most precious gift in the world. He does not treat me like a prize, but like a bloody gift. He's the perfect fiancé, and I hate the fact I enjoyed tonight because of him. I hate the fact that Grace has been looking at me with the brightest smile all night hinting at my success because of him. I hate how much I will miss him, when I let him go. I hate that I will let JJ go too.

In the back of mind there is this little voice that keeps pushing and pushing. It is telling me to not let go. To find a loophole. To find a way to stay, but I can not. I can not listen to it, because if I do, they will ask things I will never be ready to give. I just can not.

"Did I insult you on how you look tonight?" Joshua whispers in my ear while we leave a group of old doctors having a boring conversation.

"Shoot, Hawks." I look up at him. Those gray eyes piercing straight right into my heart.

"You look beautiful." He says. I laugh and roll my eyes.

"This is not an insult, blondie."

"You look breath-taking."

"Not an insult, darling." I quirk. He smiles at his nickname.

"You look like my world."

"I-"

"Scarlett!" Grace's voice blooms through the crowd around us.

"Grace!" I am too enthusiastic. Crap.

"Joshuaaa. You guys look amazing!"

We smile and exchange some hugs.

"Oh. You should meet someone." She leans in and whispers, "He is one of the doctors from outside the hospital fighting for the job. He is good, but I know you're better." She leans back again and winks. I smile and wait to see who she pulls from another crowd next to us.

"Scarlett, this is Dr. Connor Wilson."

I hear his name and all my muscles just disintegrate. The blood in my veins freeze and my bones feel like dust ready to be scattered away by just one blow from his vicious mouth.

"Dr. Wilson. This is Dr. Scarlett Moore."

I can not believe my eyes, and apparently neither can he. He swallows and brings his poker face back off. "Hello." That bloody voice. I hate that weak, shallow voice. I hold in a disgusted shiver and swallow the metallic taste in my mouth.

"And this is Mr. Joshua Hawks, Scarlett's fiancé." Connor lifts his head up...and up...and up until he reaches Joshua stone-cold, icy gray eyes.

"Hello. I'm a fan, Mr. Hawks." Conner's fake smile that he used to practice in the mirror for hours is back on his face. Here he is. The act is up. He did not change. He never will, even after what we lost. Why would he? I remind myself. He never loved me. He never loved us.

Grace senses our tension. "Okay...Connor you need to meet Dr. Arnold, he would love to hear about your new trail back in London."

Connor nods and gives me one last look.