Captive Of The Count

90

Sorry for the late update, my health relapsed and I lost my aunt.

Orian's pov

Dear Diary,

I am 30 today.

30 years of my miserable existence.

What's the essence of birthdays if my mother always cursed the day I was born and the people around me perceived me as insufferable?

I feel as gloomy as ever, it isn't any different from the rest as I am reminded of all the tragic incidents that happened after my 5th birthday which started with losing snow and I still blame myself no matter how much Amara tells me that it was never my fault.

I wonder what will happen today? What tragic thing fate has in store for me.

Would I finally die or I would lose the woman that I hold close to my heart?

I didn't tell her that it was my birthday today.

She would get excited not knowing how much I hated birthdays and then she would get disappointed when she found out that this was the unluckiest day in my life and I feared that she might be affected.

I might understand why my mother cursed the day I was born frequently, even if Amara has told me a lot that none of it that happened is my fault, I can't help but think that it is.

I can't stop thinking about how my existence brings pain to others.

The vampires were at peace till my arrival and Akanther had to seek Helena in other to cure my relapses when I was transitioning into a vamp and in the process everything was in turmoil and I ruined the perfect family that took me in.

Amara also had a peaceful life till I was dragged in it and now she is disturbed with the recent happenings, talks about how much she wants to go home and she wants me to come with her.

I can't let her go because how much I need her by my side knowing her very existence fuels mine.

and even if I did let her go, I can't go with her knowing that my miserable existence would only cause more problems for her over there and might ruin her family.

As much as I would never regret meeting her and receiving her love, I do have regrets because of how much her being with me has ruined her life.

Now everyone thinks she's a witch and she brought bad luck to us because of what went on at the festival.

We had quietened the rumors and explained everything but with the few people that never accepted her and the ones on Hector's side, I do not think our methods worked and I fear an uprising soon where I think I would have to send her away entirely, forever.

The very thought of her being away from me is heart wrenching but I can't further endanger her if things are to go worse as I would never be able to forgive myself if anything terrible or violent should happen to her.

I do hope I can solve this.

Ares told me I would because I always found a way to work out problems right from the onset and I chose to believe in that and believe in myself because of Amara.

I would try because I want her to be happy and I want her to love me freely.

I want to find a way to get rid of the curse and hope I do not die in the process so I can live past 30 and maybe, just maybe if we can go through this, I will have many other birthdays with her and maybe we would get to celebrate one of them the normal way.