Don't be near Mark/ Markhyuck

Part 23

Chenle and Jisung acted all day as if nothing had happened during the week end. Donghyuck wants to talk to them about what happened, ask how they're doing, and if they need to talk. But the two don't let anything out and make jokes, bicker as if nothing happened.

Donghyuck is a bit quieter; he doesn't like that the other two ignore the problems and refuse to talk about it. Both understand that Haechan is still a bit shocked by what he saw.

They know that Donghyuck has seen people die and has probably seen some attempt suicide. Jisung didn't want to bring back bad memories to him, Jisung's feeling guilty for causing pain to so many people.

He realized that maybe he mattered to some people.

"Tonight, we're going to study at my place?" Chenle asks.

"I can't tonight," Donghyuck replies.

Chenle and Jisung exchange a look. They rarely saw Donghyuck so closed off and seemingly sad.

"Hyuck, is everything okay?" Jisung asks.

Donghyuck says nothing and plays with the food on his plate. Why do others continue to pretend they're happy?! Why?! Donghyuck didn't sleep even an hour during the weekend! He cried a lot and sent several messages to the two.

He didn't go to see them because he was afraid that images of Jisung mixing with others from his past would haunt him. He didn't have the courage to go. But he worried ! Does Jisung value his life so little that he laughs two days after trying to leave ?

"You were planning to leave us," Donghyuck finally blurts out.

"Ji', we should take him to the infirmary, I think," Chenle says.

Donghyuck is not in a very anxious state or anything, but lack of sleep makes him lose his temper more quickly than expected. He still understands others talking and follows Jisung and Chenle to the infirmary.

Jisung has his arm around Donghyuck, holding him just in case.

"I was so scared," Donghyuck murmurs.

"Sit down there, Hyuck," Chenle says, pointing to a bed.

Donghyuck looks up and sees his friend indicating a bed. He sits down, and Jisung stands behind him, massaging his shoulders to try to relax him. Donghyuck is always there for them; it's only natural that they be there for him.

"Everything's okay, Hyuck," Chenle murmurs.

Chenle takes Donghyuck's hand and gently caresses it. He concentrates for a few seconds to speak in English, trying to calm down and regain his composure.

"No, everything is not okay!" Donghyuck suddenly says. "I haven't slept all weekend, and I haven't stopped stressing!"

" I'm sorry, I didn't mean to cause you so much stress," Jisung says. But Donghyuck only seems to get angrier as he stands up to face Jisung. He feels his fists clenching.

"Of course, it was going to hurt me, and I were go to react bad" Donghyuck says, feeling a bit overwhelmed again, he's mixing his words. "Jisung, I care about you a lot, and fuck, it would hurt me to lose you ! Believe me, Jisung, I've lost people and a lot in my life, and I don't want lose more; it  much too hurt, and I'm tired of you all acting like  fine! Like it's fine"

Donghyuck is angry and tries to speak quickly, letting out his emotions, but his words are getting harder to come by. He stumbles, mixes them up, and loses track. The two are starting to have trouble understanding Donghyuck; they really want to calm him down.