Nothing's Fine

• 47: Betrayal (part 1) •

When I got home, Linda was waiting in the kitchen for me with a plate of cookies and a mug of hot chocolate. Curiously, I entered the kitchen and she motioned for me to sit down at the table. Though deep inside I knew where this was going, I sat down.

"Charlie honey, I just wanted to talk to you about what happened on New Years. I know it's scary but I'm not letting either of us drop it so quickly. " Linda smiled, sitting down across from me. I sucked in a breath and waited for her to continue. "So, your mother came to see you and wants you to be in her life again."

"Yeah, so that she can have a tax deductible from the government!" I interjected. "She doesn't love me. She loves herself and her dead husband."

"She does love you Charlie, and now that she's had time to grieve she is ready to deal with the mistakes she has made," Linda said softly. I opened my mouth ready to interrupt, but she held up a hand, so I closed my mouth and listened. "I know she said and did things that were horrible, but she is your mother, and I know deep down she loves you. It's ultimately up to you, but I think you should at least talk to her. You never know when something could happen to a person, and leave you in regret knowing that you didn't fix it when you could have. You of all people know that honey."

I pressed my lips together at her words. "She doesn't love me anymore, and I don't need her in my life."

"She loves you much more than you think," Linda interjected. I raised an eyebrow and she sighed. "I wasn't going to tell you, but I know you need your mom in your life. You wouldn't have been so upset about her on New Years if you didn't."

I frowned in confusion. Tell me about what?

I watched her as she quickly went up stairs, and returned with a shoebox.

"Linda, you didn't." My heart was pounding in my chest and something in me already knew what was in that box.

"She left a letter at the orphanage for the family that had adopted you, but I didn't contact her until about a year before she started reaching out to you. When I met with her, I saw that she was unfit to have you in her life, so I tried to cut out contact, but she persisted until she ran into you. I- I'm sorry I kept this from you, I just thought I was pr–"

"Protecting me?" I finished incredulously and pushed away from the table. "When will anyone realize that I can protect myself?" I stood up and zipped up the jacket that I had on.

"Charlie!" I heard Linda call, but I ignored her as I stormed through the front door.

***

I wasn't sure if it was because my ribs were broken, or it was the feeling of betrayal settling into my body, but it felt like there were white-hot knives under my ribs as I ran. There was a lack of oxygen making its way to my lungs and a whirlwind of confusion and fog in my head. I didn't know whether to be understanding, or to be upset.

I was pushing through the trees as I trekked up towards a cliff top, realizing my feet knew where I was going before I did. I was surprised when I could see the meadow that I found Mason in. It felt bittersweet being here. It was our private place, and while it has some memories that weren't so nice, it felt like we were safe to be honest here. Mason and I were always ourselves here. I walked towards it, feeling more at ease the further I stepped away from my reality and closer to the serenity of this place.

When I stepped into the clearing, it was covered in a light frost but it didn't take away from the charm of the place. I walked over to the edge and carefully sat down. The view didn't fail to make me calm and take my breath away. 

However, with no distractions up here, it didn't take me long to start thinking.

What I now knew so far was that my mother had been trying to contact me for a year. But now that she finally had it was anything but pleasant.

Was it my fault? But how'd she expect me to react when she said she only wanted me for financial aid? Why didn't she say there was a letter this whole time? Why'd –

"Charlie?"

_____________

Author's Note: Oh snap! Linda had some tea to share! What do you think?! Should Charlie have stayed? Or was she right to be mad?  Who do you think called her name? Let me know in the comments! 

Have a great rest of your week and new chapter coming next week!