Nothing's Fine

• 23: Quieter •

I felt like a zombie the next day at school. I was so beyond exhausted that it was a miracle I remembered to change out of my pajamas before leaving the house. I had barely slept last night, my mind plagued with my usual nightmares twisted with ones about Dallas and Sophia. It left me gasping for air and shaking in the darkness every time I slipped and closed my eyes.

"Earth to Charlie?" I heard as a hand flashed in front of my face. I blinked rapidly and noticed Phoebe was staring at me inquisitively. I glanced around and saw that the whole table was staring at me – Emery, Talia, Brenna, Tristan, Patrick and Mason. While there's mostly confusion and amusement on everyone's faces, Mason's expression was different. Concerned, but understanding.

"What?" I asked self consciously.

"You've been eating from an empty fork for the past five minutes," Emery said.

"Yeah, you good over there?" Brenna asked. While her tone was light hearted, her eyebrows knit together slightly, giving away her concern.

"I'm fine! Just tired," I said, covering a yawn that timed itself perfectly.

"Were you up partying all night?" Tristan teased. Everyone chuckled in response, Phoebe a little harder than everyone else.

"For sure," I started, playing along. "I hit all the clubs last night." There was laughter all around before everyone returned to their previous conversations. Mason did as well, but his eyes lingered on me from across the table, calculating as if to make sure I wasn't going to fall apart in the middle of the cafeteria. I could see him fidgeting slightly and could tell he wanted to double check on me, but instead settled for stealing glances.

He wasn't sitting beside me because he and his friends arrived later than usual and Talia sat next to me for a change. While it was nice having her there, it felt off without Mason next to me.

I gave him a slight smile – which I could only hope looked real, and not like a grimace, before looking back at my food. I put a forkful of pasta into my mouth and chewed slowly.

As I swallowed, the doors leading outside opened and in walked a bruised-looking Dallas. The food immediately felt as if it had turned to stone and dropped in my stomach. Quickly, my eyes flashed to the opposite doors that lead to the hallway. I glanced back to see the direction Dallas was walking in, feeling a strange sense of panic wash through me.

I slid down in my chair and watched as Dallas scanned the cafeteria before his shoulders sagged slightly. He looked over at his friends and sat down with them. What little appetite I had, was now completely gone and my throat was dry and felt almost constricted.

I glanced up and saw curious, sideways stares aimed at me from Emery and Mason. My cheeks turned slightly pink.

"Are you okay?" Emery whispered, leaning over to me. I nodded my head and gave her a smile.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I replied without missing a beat. She looked slightly skeptical, but accepted it nonetheless.

I felt a pang of guilt for lying, and a stab of sadness at the fact that she bought it so easily, shrugged it off. I saw Mason's eyebrows kit together as he watched me and I knew that for a split second my facade fell.

Lucky for me, the warning bell rang. I got up quickly, trying not to look too hasty. Both Emery and Mason are also up in record time, but I had already turned and was leaving the cafeteria.

As I passed through the doors and into the hallway, I heard Emery's voice. "Charlie! Slow down!"

I sighed as I stopped to let her catch up.

"What's wrong? You're quieter than usual today," she noted. I guessed she didn't buy my lie after all. "And you bolted like a bat out of hell."

I fidgeted uncomfortably with my hands, and my eyes were downcast. "I - I..."

"Charlie!" Mason called from behind Emery. As he approached us, I was immediately engulfed in a hug. I wrapped my arms around his waist and a sigh escaped from my lips. It was a strange mixture of relief and exasperation – because I knew I was about to be questioned.

As I let go of him, he held me by my shoulders at arm's length and Emery moved to his side.

"So...?" she said at the same time that he said, "Are you okay?"

"I – uh... we're going to be late for class," I settled on. They both gave me a look as I gently pulled away from Mason's grip.

"We're talking about this when you come back from track practice!" Emery called as I walked away.

***

Focusing at track was certainly a challenge, but I channelled my anger into my running, and pushed everything else out of my mind. At the end of practice, Coach Elle called me over.

"You beat your time by a whole second... twice!" she exclaimed. "Were you drinking cans of Red Bull all day?" she teased. I laughed and shook my head. "Good work kiddo!" she added before beginning to pack up her things.

"Thanks," I smiled. I was surprised that I was still functioning, let alone running faster than usual. I said my goodbyes and changed quickly so that I didn't keep Emery waiting.

When I got in the car, I tossed my bag on the floor and slid into the seat. 

"Yeah, but we're going to stop at Starbucks first," she responds with a grin.

***

When we finally got to Emery's house, I was grateful to stop the small talk that was going on in the car. I could tell, like me, Emery couldn't stand the uncomfortable silence, but she wasn't exactly happy with me either.

I walked into her room and flopped down onto the bed. She sat next to me and I took a deep breath, preparing for the question I knew was coming.

"Something happened – something bad – and you're not telling me," Emery said seriously. It surprised me that she picked up on that and the look on her face made me realize my expression confirmed it. "It wasn't Mason, was it?"

"No," I shook my head furiously.

"Tiffany? Or Dallas?" she pressed. I cringed at his name, and immediately Emery's eyes widened. Before she could speak, I held up my hands in defence.

"I'll tell you just... just give me a minute," I said, taking a shaky breath.

_____

Author's Note: Happy New Year! I hope everyone's January is off to a good start! Here's another quick chapter! I hope you enjoy! Stay tuned for more hopefully soon!