Nothing's Fine

• 37: Broken Glass •

I didn't know how long I sat on my bedroom floor, but I didn't remember falling asleep. I woke up in my bed to a now silent and dark room, and wondered if Mason moved me. I vaguely remembered the nightmares I had which were likely the reason my eyes were now open at 5am.

I sighed, realizing by the time I'd managed to fall back asleep, it would be time to wake up, so I decided to take a shower. I left my hair up, knowing it wouldn't have time to dry if I washed it, despite wanting to go back to my curls. When I got out of the shower, I noticed the humidity made it wavier which surprisingly didn't look bad. After drying off, I changed, ending up in loose blue jeans and an oversized black sweater. I put on a little mascara, a little lip gloss and then grabbed my backpack before heading downstairs.

Once in the kitchen, I make myself a cup of coffee and my usual cereal and milk combination, too lazy to put much more effort into a well-rounded breakfast. I stared around the kitchen, yesterday's events clear in my mind. I could almost see Irene standing there, looking dishevelled in a yelling match with Mason. I swallowed hard and tried to blink it out of my mind.

Don't think about it anymore, I commanded myself. I didn't want to think about it if I didn't have to. I couldn't.

Luckily, Mason came into the kitchen, pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Good morning," he said before pausing mid step. "Wow, you look pretty." I felt my cheeks heat, surprised he thought so.

"Thank you," I said. Mason kissed my forehead, which made my heart flutter in my chest. He quickly grabbed his breakfast and sat down across from me at the table.

"So..." he began. I knew where it was headed so I slightly diverted the subject.

"Did you put me in my bed last night?" I asked. He nodded with a knowing look – he completely caught what I did. "Thanks. I'd have been really sore this morning," I said, pretending not to notice.

"Charlie..." he started again. "What happened last night?"

"Nothing," I said, giving him a smile. "I just needed time to space out." Mason gave me a skeptical look but I kept the smile on my face.

"I, uh, told Linda that your mother came."

That almost knocked the fake smile off my lips, but I tried to keep my voice light as I spoke.

"Oh, really? What did she say?"

"Nothing really... she was just concerned about how you were feeling about it all," Mason said. "She was also upset about a few... incidents that happened when Irene was here too." I nodded at that and let out a breath.

"Are you ready to go?" I asked lightly. "We don't want to be late." Mason nodded and stood up. "I'll take your bowl." I picked it up and headed over to the sink. I could feel his eyes on me, studying me as I moved, but I pretended not to notice.

When we got into the car, I blasted the radio so that conversation wasn't possible. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Mason's facial expression torn between slightly frustrated and being entertained as I bopped along, so I kept it up until we got to school.

I said bye and quickly got to my first class, not wanting a moment of quiet space with Mason, knowing he'd try to talk about last night. I wanted it to be a distant memory, not a recurring nightmare of a conversation. I sat at my desk in English class, arriving earlier than needed in my haste to get away from Mason.

I pulled out the book we were studying in class and began reading. I felt Emery sit down next to me, but I ignored her and continued to focus on the words on the page.

Emery sighed. "Charlie I–"

"I think that The Great Gatsby is a riveting book, don't you?" I said, not looking up. I could practically hear her rolling her eyes at my comment.

"Yeah, my favourite part is where the girl tells her best friend what the hell her problem is," Emery said in the most sarcastically sweet voice.

"I don't think I recall that part," I muttered.

"Charlie," Emery huffed. I slowly put the book down and looked at her.

"Look, I understand you want to know what's going on, but I don't even know. I'll let you know when I figure it out," I answered. It came out a bit more harsh than I'd meant it to and Emery's cheeks turned pink as she glanced down at her desk. "I'm sorry," I said quietly. I felt a little bad, knowing she was only trying to help. "But don't worry, I'm fine."

"It's okay," Emery said. She began to doodle in the corner of her notebook and didn't try to speak to me again for the rest of the class. I didn't know what to say to her, so I stayed quiet.

***

At lunch I decided to go to the library and catch up on my homework, not in the mood to deal with anyone. As I tried to focus on the questions in front of me I could only replay last night's events in my mind.

I eventually looked up and realized that there was five minutes left of lunch, so I might as well start heading to class. I'd still been staring at the same page in the textbook as twenty minutes ago. I sighed and shut the book and stood up as I collected my things before leaving the library.

As I walked out and turned the corner, I saw Mason and Emery talking. They looked upset, as if they were arguing with each other, but then I caught what they were saying. I backed up and hid behind the wall.

"Are you sure about this Emery?" Mason's voice sounded hesitant and worried.

"Yes. She doesn't want to talk about it and I know her. She's going to pretend everything is okay for as long as she can stand it," Emery explained. I felt my cheeks heat up in response to hearing this.

"Then what?" Mason asked.

"Then, she's going to snap Mason. She's going to break like glass hitting the floor and you have to be there to help glue the pieces back together." I bit my lip and turned around not wanting to hear anymore.

Anger bubbled up inside me.

I am not broken glass, I thought bitterly. No one gets to fix me and no one needs to.

Author's Note: Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Let me know what you think will happen next in the comments!