Nothing's Fine

• 66: Another Sleepless Night •

A knock at the door that evening startled me slightly, but I didn't answer. I had switched from playing guitar to blasting music through my speakers.

"Charlie! There's a phone call for you," Linda called.

"I'm sleeping," I yelled over the music.

"Really? With that music on?" she called back, humour evident in her voice.

"Yeah, can't you hear me snoring?" I shouted. I heard a snort from the other side of the door as her footsteps turned to go.

"Sorry Emery, she's busy right now," Linda said as she walks away.

I'd seen her missed calls too, but didn't feel like talking. While I was grateful for my best friend checking in on me, I didn't know what I'd say to her. I didn't know how to explain that the weight of everything seemed to be hitting me at once and makeup and new clothes wasn't going to fix it.

I didn't know what would.

***

After another sleepless night, I threw on a pair of baggy blue jeans, a black long sleeve and threw my curls into a messy bun. I brushed my teeth and managed a bit of mascara, not missing how tired I looked in the mirror, before I dragged myself down to the kitchen.

"Hey hun, how'd you sleep?" Linda asked, looking up from her phone. She was sitting at the table eating breakfast.

"I didn't," I sighed, walking over to the coffee pot. I grabbed a big mug and began pouring coffee into it. "I wish it was acceptable to drink coffee from a bowl."

Linda laughed at that.

"Are you sure you're okay to go to school today?" she added softly. I gave her a reassuring smile.

"I'm fine. Besides, I have a math test that isn't going to write itself unfortunately," I shrugged. I poured some cereal and milk into a bowl, still wishing it was more caffeine, before sitting down at the table across from Linda to eat.

***

I waited until as last minute as possible to go to school so that I would slip into class right as the final bell rang. When I sat down next to Emery, she gave me a pointed look.

"What's going on?" she asked. Her tone was a mix of concern and annoyance – both equally fair.

"Nothing, I'm fine," I said. It was meant to be reassuring, but her response let me know it was not nearly as convincing as I'd hoped.

"Are you sure? Cuz you ignored all my calls and messages and you look exhausted," Emery said, her eyebrows knitting together into a frown.

"Gee, thanks," I said sarcastically. I already knew I looked tired.

"Charlie –"

The final bell cut her off.

"Okay class, good morning!" Mr. Morrison started. "If everyone could turn to chapter eleven... We're going to read from there."

Emery sighed and reached into her backpack, leaving me to take my book out as well.

The rest of class passed quickly as Mr. Morrison taught his lesson. I could feel Emery glancing at me occasionally out of the corner of her eye. I didn't know what to say to her so I pretended that I didn't notice her glances.

Once the bell rang, I gathered my stuff hastily.

"What, rushing off so you don't have to talk to me?" Emery asked. I paused. I didn't want her to be mad at me for pushing her away again, but I also felt stupid that I felt so crappy about everything else going on in my life.

"No, I uh... just don't want to be late. We have a lab and Mrs. Bowen has been on a mean streak lately. We'll talk later?" I offered. A little olive branch extension.

Emery scanned my face and when she seemed satisfied enough with my response she gave me a small smile.

"Okay, fine," she conceded. "Good luck in your lab!"

"Thanks, see you later!" I said before heading off. 

Author's Note: Another Tuesday, another chapter! I hope you enjoyed this one!  Drop a comment on what you think might happen next! <3 New chapter coming next week!