Nothing's Fine

• 84: Determination •

After sitting with my thoughts for what felt like an eternity, I decided to get up and go downstairs. I brushed by a confused Lorraine on the stairs as I made my way to the kitchen. I was a girl on a mission and I couldn't let anything dissolve the wave of determination that washed over me. 

I walked into the kitchen for the second time that morning and picked up the phone. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest as I went through the caller history looking for Irene's number. My finger hovered above the call button as I briefly hesitated.

Would she still want to meet me? Would things be awkward?

I took a deep breath and hit the call button.

At least you'll know, I thought to myself.

The phone rang a couple times before Irene answered.

"Hello?"

"Hi," I said. I wasn't sure what to say or where to begin.

"Char–Charlie is that you?" Irene asked.

"Yeah..." I mumbled. "I-uh.. I got your message."

"I'm glad," she said.

I was quiet for a moment, still unsure what to say. I was starting to lose my nerve.

"I don't like how we left things..." Irene started. "I was hoping we could try again."

"We can," I said.

"Oh! Great!" Irene sounded genuinely surprised. "Um, you don't have to come over if you're not comfortable, but I'd love to have you. Maybe next weekend if you like?" I could tell she was nervous as she spoke.

"Um... okay, sure. Is Saturday okay?" I replied. I figured that at least it would give me the rest of the weekend to decompress before I went back to school on Monday. I hoped that there wouldn't be too much to decompress from, but it didn't hurt to give myself a buffer.

"Saturday is great! I can make lunch," Irene suggested.

"Okay, thanks," I said. "I guess I'll uh... see you then."

"See you then,"Irene replied. "And Charlie?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for calling back," she said before hanging up.

I stood there with the phone for a moment, feeling a little stunned at the whole interaction.

What did I just do? I knew I should try to build a relationship but I was so scared it would break me.

The realization of what I'd be facing this weekend hit me like a ton of bricks. I leaned forward against the counter.

"Charlie?"

I yelped and spun around, almost dropping the phone. Linda was standing there watching me.

"You okay?" she asked.

"Well, apart from the heart attack..." I teased, feeling myself slowly return to my body. Linda laughed in response.

"Who was that?"

"Irene," I said. Her eyebrow raised slightly, but she waited for me to speak without reacting otherwise. "I... I guess I'm going over for lunch this Saturday."

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Author's Note: Happy New Year! First new chapter of the year! Hope you enjoyed it!