Nothing's Fine

• 47: Betrayal (part 2) •

I jumped at the sudden sound of a voice behind me.

A good rule of thumb was not to scare anyone on the edge of a cliff, but luckily I was always sitting on the edge of things, so I didn't fall.

"Mason, what are you doing here?" I asked, turning around. He smiled as he walked over to me.

"Linda called me and asked if I knew where you'd gone. I think you scared her pretty badly, considering you last time you left the house without telling her, you ended up with a broken arm and ribs," Mason said. I smirked at that.

"Well, did she tell you why I'd left?" I asked, making Mason shake his head in response. He sat down next to me, feet dangling off the cliff. "She had contact with Irene before she came looking for me," I told him.

Mason's eyes widened in surprise. "Like they were talking?"

"Through letters – as if email isn't a thing!" I scoffed sarcastically. "But Linda kept all of the ones my mother sent and casually brought down this shoe box. She let me think my mother didn't care at all, this whole time when there was still a part of her that did. Then she said she was protecting me – like I'm a delicate child. I know how to survive on my own."

Mason pulled me towards him and I rested my head on his shoulder. I felt myself relaxing slowly as he put his arm around me. He was quiet for a moment, and I was worried that he was thinking I'd overreacted, but then he spoke.

"I know it sucks, but at least you know now. You were so hurt and guilty before," he started, gently. "Do you really think you would have gone with your mom?"

"Probably, but I'd still have been really mad at her," I shrugged, then paused. There was a strong possibility I would not have gone with her. I sighed. "Okay you're right. I'd have probably told her to screw off."

Mason began laughing which made me smile. "Told you."

"Yeah, well..." I replied nudging him playfully. "I guess it just hurt that Linda was keeping it from me. Maybe things would have been extremely different." I sat up and faced him.

"That's true, but sometimes things work out the way they are supposed to for a reason," Mason said. "I mean, think about how much Linda cares about you to want to protect you."

"Yeah, you're right," I said after a moment. There was comfort in knowing that Linda and Jay cared enough to protect me from Irene at her worst. He kissed me softly on the lips and started to get up.

"We should head back, and maybe you should open the letter!" Mason suggested. I groaned, but knew he was correct. It was something I had to do. And it helped that Mason would be there for me while I read it.

***

To the family that adopted my daughter Charlotte,

I am writing this to tell you that I am so grateful that you have taken my daughter into your family. I cannot express how happy I am to know that she has a good and loving home, and that she is safe. It warms my heart to know that she will continue to grow in a place of happiness.

I am also writing this to tell her that I am sorry. I am sorry that I couldn't be the mother that she needed when she needed me the most. I should be there to pick up the pieces after her father's death but I too am mourning. I am mourning the loss of my best friend and my soulmate. I'm sure Charlotte is mourning her dad too. However, I needed distance from the gravity of the tragic loss. I needed time for me to collect myself and gather my thoughts.

I know it has been a year and a half, but a lot has changed since then. I am ready to see Charlotte when she is ready to see me. My contact information is below, and I hope that you will let me see her when the time is right.

Irene Ross

I felt a rush of emotions while reading this. I was so shocked that I didn't know how to react. While I appreciated the fact that she wanted to see me and was grateful to know that I was safe, it made me angry that she could be so selfish. There weren't many things in the box other than a few papers, and I was relieved that I didn't have to look through a lot.

"I also printed out some emails so that you could see how much she loves you," Linda told me.

Dear Linda,

I know you think I'm unfit to be a mother, but I want to see my child. She needs her mother, and I think I deserve to see her. I am grateful to you, but you don't have the right to keep her from me. Please contact me so we can arrange something.

Irene

This one was from a few weeks after Linda and Irene had met. I sighed and picked up the next email.

Dear Linda,

Please, let me see Charlotte. There is so much she has to know. Things have been hard, and I've been drinking a lot, but I know if I had her back, things would be different. They'd be better.

Irene

I chewed on my bottom lip, feeling bad. I'd been so angry with her when she actually wanted me all this time. It made me feel confused because when she was here, she said such mean things. I guessed it was probably because everything got so heated.

I didn't need to see the rest of the emails because the decision had been made. I glanced up at Mason and Linda, as they watched me apprehensively. As scary as it was, I knew what needed to happen, or I'd probably regret it forever.

I stated my decision slowly and watched as the surprise colours their faces.

"I'll call her."

___________ 

Author's Note: The letter! The emails! The surprise! 

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