Nothing's Fine

• 28: 2:12am •

"There's nothing more to it really," I said, zipping up my jacket. I was on the phone with Emery the next night. I also happened to be sitting on the window ledge with my legs dangling against the brick wall beneath me. "We kissed and then he asked me to be his girlfriend."

Actually there was more to it. I just didn't know how to put it into words without getting embarrassed.

Mason had pulled away from the kiss slowly, and smiled at me brightly, his excitement written on his face. I blushed, of course, and gave him a shy smile as I unwrapped my hands down from around him.

"So, um... w-where –" The English language seemed to escape me. "Where does... that leave us?" I had asked.

"Where do you want it to leave us?" Mason had replied. I bit my lip nervously.

I didn't know entirely. What I did know was that kissing him could easily become my new favourite hobby.

"I don't know..." I shifted a little closer to him.

Did I want to risk getting hurt? No. But let's face it. I was already in deep way before that kiss and I knew I'd continue to be way after. Mason felt worth it. I looked up at him and smiled.

"I do know that I want to be with you... and maybe kiss you again," I had said. Mason's lips curved up into a smile.

"Well, then Charlie, will you be my girlfriend?" he asked, taking my hand. I liked the sound of that word coming out of his mouth.

"Yes, I will," I grinned. Then he kissed me again, which in fact solidified my new favourite hobby.

"And you said yes of course," Emery's voice snapped me back into the present. I rolled my eyes at her, though she couldn't see me.

"Well, duh," I replied sarcastically, despite not being able to wipe the goofy grin off of my face.

"Aw! Charlie! I can hear the joy in your voice! This is amazing. I'm so happy for you!" Emery exclaimed, making me blush.

"Thank you," I responded. "I should probably go now; I'm getting cold."

"Lemme guess... you found a window ledge to sit on?" she asked knowingly. I grinned at how well she knew me.

"Yeah! It's not warm out here and I'm not about to attempt getting down with one hand," I replied. Emery laughed.

"You're an idiot," she teased. "Now hang up before you fall and die."

"Bye Emery," I said in a playfully patronizing tone.

"By Charlie," she replied in the same tone. I hung up and slipped my phone into my jacket pocket before attempting to spin around. As I swung one leg into my room, there was a knock on my door.

"Come in!" I called, trying to hold on to the window. The door opened, but I didn't glance up right away. I swung the other foot inside and jumped down onto my bed.

"Charlie, what have I told you about sitting on window ledges?" Linda asked, leaning against the frame. I grinning impishly at her.

"That it's unsafe and I could fall to my death," I repeated probably for the 400th time this year. Linda rolled her eyes and walked into the room. She knew I wasn't going to listen anyways.

"I was just checking to see if you're okay," she said. I nodded slowly and smiled at her. "Alright; sleep well and I'll see you in the morning."

"You too! Night," I smiled again and grabbed a blanket from the edge of my bed. Linda left the room and closed the door behind her.

***

I sat up quickly in the darkness, breathing heavily. It was version two of the recurring nightmares. It was barely even a nightmare, and more of a memory with a painful twist. Somehow that was more terrifying.