LILITH | DEAN WINCHESTER [ ✓ ]

38. lazarus rising (cry by my side)

◖𓈈﹗ ﹙ chapter thirty-eight ﹚
❛ ▬▬ LAZARUS RISING (CRY BY MY SIDE) . . . ❜

In the morning, the clouds painted the sky in shades of gray and shadows. It had started to rain over the woman's pearl-like head as she left Dorian's mansion to go to the cemetery. The first irregular, thin, and sparse drops didn't deter her; few things prevented her from visiting her mother, and the rain caused extreme relaxation in her body. In the last six months, the study of weather had become her main action-aside from the usual-adjusting her entire life to try to gain power. She was beginning to define herself as an uncomfortable thorn in her side, a constant martyrdom that managed to sour her afternoons between books and cocaine. Lilith had stagnated; she couldn't complete the time, moving forward a few seconds and then backtracking; the area of pearls was a constant pain, and Lilith's demon-like insistence aggravated her moods. She visited Mom after finishing her studies; it always cheered her up.

"I've been thinking, Mom," Lilith twirled the black rose from hell between her fingers, "and I think you made a mistake. You taught me to defend myself in a world that would try to eat me alive, you helped me all my life and took care of me. You gave me knowledge, but mommy, you forgot about supernatural threats. You didn't teach me to protect myself from them... I guess you thought you'd be there to take care of me. Who took care of you? We couldn't escape the witches; we are witches. Magic scared you, didn't it? I understand you, Mom, I can imagine that at first, magic seduced you; it's a bad lover, but it's a good weapon, it's power and I'm not just talking about the pearls alone; I'm talking about angels and demons. How much power do they have? How much power does God have? You made a mistake."

Lilith destroyed the black rose, scattering the petals over the grave, falling like the flowers from the white tree. Throughout her life, she had regarded her mother as a superhero anchored to a pedestal of gold; the idealization of children towards their parents, a common aspect of family relationships that culminated with the arrival of adolescence and maturity. It didn't come to Lilith's life until now, admitting it aloud and with full awareness, having gone through months of reflection and separation, the first time she was so far apart. She got up running, thinking she was being a horrible daughter, disregarding Mom's work. She had returned to Dorian's mansion soaked, the raindrops had become large and heavy, turning into the gloomy rain of a loveless movie, in which her true love would appear to envelop her in his arms and profess eternal love to her in a passionate kiss, just like in "The Notebook." She didn't have such a fantastic and pure love, just a billionaire who loved to furrow his brow when she disappeared all day.

"Where were you?" Dorian was waiting for her at the entrance of the hall, with the imposing marble stairs and the railing bathed in ochre behind him. "You're soaked, love! Why didn't you call the driver to come pick you up? Oh my god, baby."

Dorian approached and kissed her, taking her cheeks.

"I like the rain," she replied, ignoring his questions. Just seeing that everything she did aroused an impressive level of concern in Dorian started to sound like behavior that altered his expressions.