LILITH | DEAN WINCHESTER [ ✓ ]

43. arduenn v. winchester

◖𓈈﹗ ﹙ chapter forthy-three﹚
❛ ▬▬ ARDUENN V. WINCHESTER . . . ❜

She listened to a ringing inside her head as she woke up in the darkness. She had felt her cat resting on top of her head and Dorian lying next to her, well, she had thought it was her boyfriend, not expecting it to be Dean to whom she confessed her desires amid passionate kisses and needy promises, and now, she was dealing with an even more intense pain. Suddenly, all the events hit her. She needed to drug herself or she wouldn't be able to face the hunter's stern gaze. She turned on the bedside lamp and groaned as she got up to search for her phone. She had her priorities, and she needed to talk to Dorian. She had assumed he wasn't home and hadn't returned, or indeed, he would be sleeping next to her. Even when they fought like two lions, at the end of the day, they slept in the same bed.

"No questions?" murmured Dean, as if he didn't want to talk. She had thousands of questions, but he wouldn't give her the answers.

Lilith rummaged through the drawer for her phone, which she rarely used and left in the same place. She saw she had a message from Judas.

J.

Didn't know Uriel was at your place. I arrived late to help you. Saw you were with people who would try to kill me and didn't want to show up. Managed to rescue the angel sword, I have it saved for you. Uriel will want to reclaim it, it's safer with me. I'll give it to you when we meet.

I'll keep an eye on Dorian tonight, don't worry about him. I've got him.

L.

Thanks.

At least her heart could rest knowing that Judas was taking care of Dorian tonight. Damn, it was two forty-five in the morning. The night was still young, and as far as she could tell, it would be endless with the Winchester brothers in the mansion and Bobby watching their behavior. She dialed Dorian's contact and waited for him to answer. There was no response. She called three more times and nothing. He didn't want to talk to her, she understood. He didn't love her anymore; he was tired of her. They shared the feeling; she was tired of living in her body too.

"So you won't talk to me? Sorry for not being your boyfriend, well... actually, I don't feel sorry for not being your boyfriend, you have a pretty shitty one for leaving you while you were bleeding out."

"You can spare the whole speech, Dean, I already know what you'll say and what you feel about me." Damn it, she kissed him like she kissed Dorian or even better, because she wanted to hear some words of support from someone. She looked at Prayer and caressed his ears.

"Come on, say it."

Lilith noticed that her middle finger began to tap against the mattress. Did the Winchesters stress her out like this? She was tired, like Dorian screamed, of absolutely everything she did. But why did she do it? What the hell was she afraid of? How could the queen of hell face the angels without crying out of fear? How did she cross the line and walk among the beasts? Was she stupid or free-spirited? Mythological Lilith surprised by stealing one's vitality, as if everything she did from now on wasn't worthy of her name. She cried because the people who hurt her had found out what they thought of her. A feeling so human that it set her back in the grand plan. She didn't want to face it, especially not after she thought she finally fell in love with Dorian while kissing the wrong person. In his arms, she felt the protection of home, an unconditional love forever; but it wasn't true. Dean blamed her for wanting him with her, so how could he forgive her for something he deemed worse?