10 hours before the graduation
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"i feel like such a loser," my legs spread across my soft sheets, "i've had butterflies in my stomach all this morning."
it was a bit of a slow morning and i wasn't in any rush of doing anything important. it was a pretty day outside, the sky blue as ever, the morning birds chiming through my cracked open window, and a slight breeze was let in.
i rested my head against my pillows, my blankets sprawled all across my bedroom floor from the night before. and i was still in my loose fitted pajamas, no pants of course only underwear with a long t-shirt, and my hair falling out of place in a loose braid.
i wasn't planning on moving any time soon to be exact. today was a very big day and i wanted to feel well rested and just in general happy.
it seemed so surreal that i would be graduating high school today. as lame as it sounds, it was quite scary getting older.
but graduating meant so many new opportunities could be brought into my life.
i was planning on spending this whole summer with luke, figuring out my life and shit like that. and then once the fall came back around i would get everything in order.
i would be attending university and studying to become whatever that is, i would be going in undecided as a freshman.
and the only thing I could hope for would be to stay together with luke. i wanted everything to be okay between us, no matter what we were doing or where we are.
"jade all you do is walk up on stage and grab a piece of paper and then sit back down," luke chuckled on the other end of the phone, "it's not too serious."
my eyes gazed up at the blank ceiling, "but what if i like trip and fall or something." i teased with a slight giggle, being totally unrealistic.
luke laughed along with me, "then i would kill to see that."
i let out a soft sigh while shaking my head at this. i then pushed myself up from my comfortable spot on my bed and let my legs dangle from the edge.
my eyes trailed over the dumb polaroid pictures that haunted me with memories of the two of us.
my eye caught a picture we took that one night me, luke, claudia, and calum went to the beach. claudia and calum went off alone with each other and left me and luke alone for the rest of the night.
and at that moment i didn't know luke very well, but that night I felt like i had known him my whole life.
when he dragged me into the ocean after taking that unexpected polaroid of me.
and then i remember the car ride back to town after the beach trip. it was early in the morning and the car ride was dull and we were all brutally tired. calum drove with claudia by his side, and luke and i sat side by side in the back.
i couldn't but smile on the phone, remembering this moment. luke had shared his earphone with me and we talked about his pinky ring.
and he told me in that moment he promised me with that pinky ring that he would be front row at my graduation, embarrassing me as i walked up the steps.
my eyes fell from the picture and down to my lap as i played with my fingertips, wanting that promise to happen so bad.
but there was just no way he could possibly live up to it. and i understood.
