New Years Eve 11:34 pm ;
"easy there, Jade." Ashton's firm grip tensed against my waist line.
I stumbled on my own two feet as I made a fool out of myself. Ashton and I went outside for a breath of fresh air.
the party was almost getting too crowded, even for us.
but we had to stay until at least midnight came around.
it was one of Michael's parties tonight and he had practically invited all of California.
but ashton and I were being exclusive and wanted to spend the night alone anyways.
and surprisingly I was the one completely wasted, not ashton.
it had almost seemed like the alcohol was unlimited and would not stop being supplied to me. I couldn't even tell you how much I had to drink that night.
we stood outside on the back lounge area. I twirled around and around in my dress, barefooted and a bottle of whine in my grasp.
ashton stood there playfully making fun of me every now and then.
"ashhtonn." I giggled to myself.
"what is it, baby?" he narrowed his eyes at me, bringing a bottle to his lips and taking a swig of the alcohol.
i inched closer towards him so that I was now leaning on his chest. his arm draped around my waist, resting it there to bring me closer to him.
I started poking at his cheeks, moving his lips around with my fingers. I giggled at how silly he looked.
he smirked at me from the side and batted my hands away from his face.
"you are very cute." I spoke through giggles and my words awfully slurred.
he locked his eyes in mine, "you are too."
my eyes were set on his lips as I leaned inwards and sloppily pressed my lips against his. alcohol staining our lips and breath as we messily kissed.
I pulled away and just gazed at him. I took in every inch of that boy.
his curly dirty blonde hair that always fell in his eyes,
his light hazel eyes that captivated me with looks of mystery,
his sharp jawline and incredible bone structure,
and his crooked but so white and still allied teeth,
he was what I thought I wanted.
from the first day of high school it has always been about him.
watching him at Friday night football games in his jersey that fit his muscles so nicely, getting sad as I watched him flirt with other older girls.
and now I finally had him.
but looking at him in this moment, I felt completely lost.
not lost in him exactly, lost in the idea of him.
from day one I had fallen in love with the idea of him. I had fantasize over ashton irwin, the boy everyone wanted to know and be friends with.
but was this what I really wanted?
did I really want a boy who goes to a party each and every weekend? did I want a boy who wants to get in my pants every time we get alone in his house?
I shook my head as I realized I had been staring for too long.
my drunk thoughts were consuming me.
