True Lies - Steve Rogers X OC

Chapter 17 - Letters from Bucky

When I wake Howard is still asleep next to me, his face turned toward me as he lies on his back; his upper body bare. I smile as I use my finger to trace a line down his cheek to his chin. He smiles and without opening his eyes says, "Morning Maddy." I prop myself up onto my arm and softly kiss his lips. He leans up deepening our kiss as he warps his arms around me. He pulls me into his lap and cups my face in his hand. I pull away and snuggle into his chest. 

"This is almost too good to be true," I say taking in his scent. 

He softly kisses the top of my head as he holds me tight. "Maddy, there is something I have to tell you and something I have to give to you." I sit up and look into his tormented face and frown. 

"What's wrong Howard?" he looks down and sees my necklace carrying the rings and takes them in his hand. 

He twirls my mother's ring in his hand as he says, "Maddy, I am so sorry I don't know how to tell you this," I cup his face in my hands and see the sadness in his eyes. "Maddy Steve's missing, and Bucky is dead." I feel my heart break and I pull away from him. 

"What?" I say pulling my necklace out of his hands, tears starting to form in my eyes. 

"Maddy I'm so sorry I wish it wasn't true, for your sake; but it is." I sit there and listen to Howard tell me how Bucky had died and Steve's heroic act that saved everyone's life; then he waited for my reaction. I wrap my arms around him and the tears start to cascade from my eyes. He holds me there just letting me cry out my pain. When I find that no more tears will come I look back up into his eyes and say, "What do you need to give me Howard." He stands and walks over to his briefcase lying next to the door. 

When he opens it he brings back a folded flag and two stacks of letters. As he hands me the flag my heart clenches and I hold it close to my heart. He sits down on the bed next to me and hands me the letters as he says, "Half are from Bucky, the rest from Steve." I take them and smile as I see their familiar handwriting on the envelopes. Howard smiles as he kisses my cheek and says, "I have to go do some work, will you be ok?" I nod and wait for him to leave before I open the envelopes. I start with Bucky's letters, as I read them I start to notice how much the war was changing him. I reach the last two letters and take a deep breath preparing myself for anything. 

Maddy,
You would not believe who I met up with today... it was Steve. Only he didn't look like our Steve anymore. I guess I'm writing these letters more for myself than anything else. I hope one day I can hand these to you in person and tell you all the exciting stories I have witnessed here. Well time to go me and Steve are gonna hijack a train. I love you Maddy.
Love Bucky

My eyes start to tear up as I read the last letter out loud to myself.

Dear Maddy,
If you are reading this it means that I have been killed in action. I wish I could have seen your face one last time before I died, because you are the only thing that has gotten me through this hellish time. I hate war; I wish it could end so I could come home to you. I know you don't love me like you love Steve and Howard, but it doesn't matter anymore. Maddy I love you; I've loved you since the very day I saw you come back to life in my hands. It has always been difficult to see the way you look at Steve but I thought that one day I could have changed your mind. I guess if you reading this then it's too late. Do not worry yourself about how I died, just think of all the good times we have had together, Madeline Howlett I love you and even if I have to wait forever to see you again I will. I love you Maddy, please be safe.
Love
Bucky

I hold his letter and his flag to my heart and cry my eyes out.