Complicated People, Complicated Love

My Nature

Maya

I haphazardly shove my books in my locker, not caring if they get ruined. The pages of my geometry book look like they're about to fold and I slam my locker closed before the book falls. The sound of the metal banging ensures I get the side eye from the senior next to me as I walk towards the lunch area. People stare at me as I pass them. Whatever, it's nothing new. Their expressions are usually a mix of fear or sympathy - both of which I find unacceptable.

     Out of the corner of my eye, I see a group of guys huddled by an open locker. They go silent as I walk by. Well that's just annoying. I stop dead in my tracks, not caring if someone gets annoyed at the traffic jam or runs into me. Very slowly, I turn my head in their direction.

They're all looking at me, blank looks on their faces, maybe a hint of interest. I turn fully towards them and flash them an evil smile, taking a small step towards them, they scramble, trying to walk with swagger and utterly failing. The last one has to double back to close the locker. I laugh quietly and start walking again just in time to see Riley, my best friend, folding her arms and flashing me a disapproving look.

"What?" I ask as she takes up a place by my side. "You have to admit that was funny," Riley looks at me with a scowl, telling me with her eyes that she obviously didn't think so. Sneakers squeak on the linoleum floor as we enter the crowded cafeteria. Riley stops me from going any dither into the room with a hand on my arm.

"Don't you want people to like you Maya?" Riley asks genuinely, as if she doesn't know me at all. I snort. "Maya, you act like people are all terrible-"

"Yeah, because people are," I try to keep the snap out of my voice. Riley tries unsuccessfully to hide her smile.

"Come on Peaches," Riley says putting her arm around my shoulders. "Let's get us some grub. And see a cute boy," she says giddily. I laugh.

"I think by "cute" you mean trying too hard, and you forgot the cow in front of boy," I say, but Riley isn't listening, too infatuated by the mere thought of Lucas, the newest member of our group, much to my dismay. He moved from Texas just a few weeks ago and Riley instantly wanted him.

Everything about him annoys me, from his slight Texas accent to his annoying ken doll looks. He seriously must put makeup on and spend hours on his floofy hair. Can you say narcissistic?

     Riley tows us forward with a new skip in her step and a wide smile that I'll never be able to replicate.

                                       . . .

I hungrily take another bite of the pancake that Riley's mom plopped on my plate as soon as I walked into the kitchen. I guess not eating dinner makes you pretty hungry when you wake up the next morning. Imagine that. The Mathews all sit around the table also eating, albeit slower than me, while watching one of Auggie's favorite shows. I make myself slow down as Riley's curious stare catches my eye. I just give her a nonchalant smile, not letting her see that I'm struggling. That's no ones business, not even my best friend. I can't stand the pity that comes along with it.

"You girls ready for school?" Asks Mr Mathews as he stands up to rinse off his plate.

"Yup" says Riley doing the same. I look down at the last dregs of my pancake - there's a good 3 more bites - and when no one's looking, shove them into my mouth and put my dish in the sink on top of Riley's. The noise of a happy family getting ready for the day surrounds me as I follow Riley out the door with a somewhat full stomach.
                                       . . .

"Hey guys," I hear. I know who it is by the way Riley's body stiffens. I want to roll my eyes so bad. Of course he just has to walk up to us. I mean he's new and we're like the only people he knows, but still. Sure enough, when I turn my head towards the greeting, there Lucas is, walking right up to us. Riley smiles silently, an invisible pulse of excited electricity radiating off of her, staring at Lucas with big eyes. I subtly roll mine in return. It's always interesting to see if Riley will actually talk to him or just stare.

Trying to save her from making that decision right now, I say, "Hey Ranger Rick," with my best (way overdramatized) country accent. "How was your night of square dancin?" I say with a victorious smirk on my face.

His gaze falls on me, "It was great thanks for asking!" He says with a huge smile on his face, the whiteness of his teeth even more noticeable against his tan skin. He didn't go square dancing and we both know it. My smirk turns into a scowl which only seems to make his smile grow. "So Riley," he says turning towards her, intentionally putting his back to me. "Want to walk to class?"

She smiles, her eyes somehow getting bigger. "Okay!" She says a little too fast. I want to shove him away from her. She's my best friend, my person. I should walk to class with her like we do every day. I get that sounds irrational but he makes me irrational and I'm possessive, not a great combo. Then they walk off, Riley seeming to forget about my existence. I'm left alone at my locker unreasonably angry that I wasn't able to rile him. I never am but it's still infuriating. I can make other people move out of a seat with a single look, but Lucas never seems fazed.

    I slam my locker, the second time today I'd you're keeping track. The senior next to me jumps and looks about to scowl at me before she sees my scowl already in place. Her head whips back around to her own locker, hastily retrieving a book. I move past her, following the path that Riley and Lucas paved, on my way to our next class.