Complicated People, Complicated Love

Head vs. Heart

Maya

I take a deep breath. I don't know what I'm doing, but I had to talk to him, it was hurting too much not to, and after he announced his feelings for me in front of the whole school, I figured, what better time?

Lucas takes a step forward, "Look, Maya, I swear I didn't kiss her, I wouldn't do that to you! Ever," I hold up a hand to him, signaling for him to stop talking. He does and I have to force myself to move my mouth.

"I believe you," I do, I've had time to think and I just don't know why he would do it. He's amazing and he had no reason to. "It's taking a lot of trust for me to do this," I swallow, feeling nervous for some reason. "And I don't have a lot of that to begin with. So, I hope you know just how much you mean to me," he takes another step to me and we are only a couple feet away from each other now.

"I do know," I glance at his lips involuntary. "Ever since the break up, I've been miserable, I've felt dead. The only reason I get up in the morning is the hope of seeing you. And although it's not manly to admit, I've done a fair share of crying," he said with a little laugh. I manage a small smile.

"I know the feeling," I say. "I've done a lot of thinking the past few weeks." He looks at me, filled with anticipation. "I think I did the right thing breaking up. At least my head thinks so," he looks to the floor, I can feel the disappointment coming off of him.

"I know that being together has such a high percentage of ending in heartbreak," I continue. "I didn't want to have to experience that. But I waited too long," he looks up, confused. "I've felt heartbreak now, ever since the second I knew I'd never hold you again." My voice cracks but I push through it. "I don't know how it could ever be worse than this, even if it's in a year or two, it can't get any worse," I try to keep my emotions in check, not letting myself cry.

"I don't care anymore if we don't work in the future, we work now. And I will never break up with you again. I can't. I want you back, if you'll have me."

I almost don't even get the last word out before Lucas fills up the space that was separating us and he smashes his mouth onto mine. His hands are on my waist, pulling me against him. I fill with the warmth I have missed so much. I push my lips against his, missing the feeling so much. I caress his face, feeling some scruff under my hand.

It takes all the strength I have to bring myself to pull away. Our foreheads still touch as I gasp for air. Breathing heavily, i say. "I love you,"

"You have no idea," he responds.

        If the bell didn't ring, I swear we would have kissed for hours.