Complicated People, Complicated Love

How?

Maya:

It's not unusual that I would zone out during a class, but it isn't a day dream that's occupying me thoughts today. All through class, all I can think about is my head. What does it mean that it's hurting again? I didn't do anything unusual today. I just know that whatever the reason is, it can't be good.

  The first time I felt the pain after the accident was when my math teacher assigned us loads of homework on a subject I didn't understand. That one makes sense if the pain is somehow associated with headaches. I had no one to help me at home because my dad was gone and my mom was either working or sleeping after a long shift. No way was I going to ask Mr. Matthews for help, I was too ashamed to do that, so I failed that whole math chapter and wouldn't accept help from tutors. When tutors or the teacher kept asking me if I needed help, my head finally turned into a shooting range aimed at my brain.

Another time was when I was at the park and saw a group of teenage boys take a bike from a little boy. I was with Riley at the time and sprinted after the gang. Riley grabbed my arm and made me promise not to do anything, she was worried they would pound me into next year, and she was right, they would. And so I agreed, watching the little boy cry until I was blinded by pain and collapsed to the ground. It didn't last long, they never do, but that's how Riley found out.

I can't find a connection between these two times, or the other events. I go over some more incidents in my head but can't think of any sort of relation. I count a total of nine times that my head has hurt including the actual accident. I'm sixteen, and i haven't had one in two years, not including this morning. That means that I had eight in four years. I really thought that they had gone away.

The bell rings, and I stand up, having tuned out of the whole class (again). I was clueless as to what we had learned but I had no doubt that Riley would catch me up. She was a literal angel.

I walk out of class and towards the cafeteria. Still kind of out of it, I plop down at our usual table. It takes only a couple minutes for Lucas to appear through the crowd and sit across from me. He smiles too large in hello and opens his lunch bag to start pulling things out. I lean over, putting my weight on my crossed arms, and look into it as well. He shakes his head at my snooping but I can spy a smile.

"Don't worry Clutterbucket," he says using my great grandmother's maiden name to tease me, "I brought you something," his smile still in place, he pulls out a bag of Cheetos and some water. I smile hugely and grab them from him sitting back down with a thunk.

"Thanks Ranger Rick," I say, peeling open the bag of Cheetos and shoving a handful into my mouth. My stomach growling from the smell alone. He laughs at me and pours out his own lunch, an apple, some Oreos, his own water, and a ham sandwich. I'll steal some of those Oreos later, I decide.

Riley sits down next to me after having made a detour to her locker to get her lunch while I claimed our table, taking me out of my Cheetos trance. She puts her hand into her own paper bag and pulls out a sandwich for me before she pulls out her own. I smile an orange smile. Wiggling my messy fingers before snatching it up. She laughs at me. Turkey, my favorite.

The Mathews know that my fridge at home isn't well stocked. My mom is hardly ever home to feed me. I'm not complaining, she needs her job. I need her job. The Matthews always pack me my own little lunch inside of Riley's. Lucas has caught on in the month that he's been here, even he brings me a little something every once in a while. I would buy lunch here, but I can't afford it. I get fifteen dollars a month from my mom and I've been saving it my whole life, for something that will help us. I just haven't found out what that is yet. I get a little extra every so often babysitting Auggie which certainly helps.

I eat my lunch, trying to savor it, knowing that I probably will only get some peanut butter or something for dinner. Lucas and Riley talk as I stuff my face. Well, Lucas does, Riley just smiles and nods, an occasional laugh here and there. And so does our other friend Farkle.

Farkle is...interesting. He's nerdy, "funny", and many other things I can't even begin to describe. Riley and I have known him since we were eight. He's our best friend. Also quite obviously in love with both of us and likes to let us know it by relentlessly flirting. Or whatever you call Farkle Flirting.

"So HeeHaw," I say as we all make our way back to the classroom hallway. The silence between everyone is unbearable to my my hyper mind. Lucas turns his head, looking down at me (he's obnoxiously tall) with a small smile on his face.

"Ma'am," he says tipping an invisible hat. I glare at him, annoyed by him not being annoyed. He smiles, clearly seeing right through me.

"How're the cows? You getting enough milk for the winter?" I say in a cowboy accent, faking concern. Riley groans.

"Yes indeed we are, thank you so much for your concern, it means a lot to me, right here," he says, slowly touching his heart. I grit my teeth and stare ahead. I will get to him, I will.