Complicated People, Complicated Love

The Other One?

Lucas

      I tie my tie carefully and look at myself in the mirror. It looks weird to see myself in a tux. I almost wasn't going to go to this pointless dance, but I really wanted to go if Maya was going. I mean...if my friends were going, all of them. But Maya's the one that need to be checked up on.

      I leave my house hesitantly. I look ridiculous, but I promised I would go. My parents are out of town yet again, so that makes it easier to leave, they aren't bombarding me with pictures. Don't get me wrong, I love them, but I do wish that they weren't gone half the time. I try to see the best if it though.

       I drive towards the school, suddenly nervous. My hands are sweating. And as much as I try to deny it, I think I'm nervous about Maya. I'm nervous to see her, I'm nervous that she's still going to be shutting me out, I'm worried that she's not ok, and I'm worried that I won't be able to help her. Do I like her? I can't. She's just a friend. A beautiful, kind, amazing friend who makes me smile every damn time I see her.

      "Oh god," I say out loud. It's like my brain was hiding this big thing from me and suddenly it's not hiding anymore. It's in broad daylight with a spotlight shining on it. There's this thing that's been forming in my mind all this time and I was oblivious. I like Maya. "I like Maya," I say out loud, just to see how it sounds. I expected it to sound off. It sounds right, but at the same time absurd. But know it's true. Every damn time she looked at me this feeling only grew. Double speed if she was calling me Ranger Rick. Why did I love that so much?

      I feel a mixture of things, kind of hard to decipher. Relief, excitement, worry, happiness, and fear, all rolled up into one big knot settling in my stomach.

       Before I know it, I'm at school and it's dark outside. My mind was busy processing this information that should have been obvious. I exit my car and take a shuddering inhale as I make my way to the door. Now that I can put a name to all of these feelings I have for Maya, the need to see her is overwhelming. As soon as I cross the door frame, I'm engulfed in music, laser lights and bodies jumping up and down. I make my way over to where my friends and I usually eat lunch, given that the dance is in a transformed version of our cafeteria. Sure enough, Farkle, Riley, and Maya are standing where our table usually is.

      The laser lights are just bright enough that I can see their faces. Farkle is dancing with Riley, if you can even call what he's doing dancing, considering it's mostly upper body shakes and arms moving, and Maya is leaning her shoulders against the wall, eating what looks like chips from a napkin in her hand.

      I walk up to them, trying to act casual. Maya's the one that sees me first, or maybe not, but she's the one that I was looking at. She smiles at me as I approach, and I feel my heart beat increase. She's so beautiful. Her smile expressing the real her. God, all I want to do is be with her, I seriously feel a physical longing to just be next to her. How I'm I just now noticing this feeling? It's like my acceptance of it opened a floodgate and now I can't feel anything that doesn't have to do with her.

     I'm sure I look like a doofus as I smile back and join her in leaning on the wall. She's a head shorter than me so she has to lean her head back as she offers me a chip. She's actually wearing a dress, this is the first time I've seen her in anything that shows her legs. That's probably a good thing because just hung by what I'm feeling right now, I don't know if I'd be able to focus on anything, I'm class or out of it, if she showed her amazing legs on a daily basis. Her dress is a bright red, and her hair cascades down her like a golden waterfall. And that's when I know, I have to tell her how I feel. Tonight.