Complicated People, Complicated Love

Window Talks

Lucas

    I wake up, and sigh when I see light. Ten more minutes is all I ask for, is that too much? But then I jump out of bed when I realize it's a school day. I'm usually not excited for school, but I feel all jittery when I think that Maya will be there, I mean, that all my friends will be there.

      I look at the clock, 6:45. I smile and take off my shirt. I look at my arms in the mirror. Not as strong as they could be. I don't know if I've really been slacking off working out or if I'm just being self conscious because I want to impress... huh. I don't even know where my mind was going there. All I know if that I've been wanting to look my best lately.

      I do 200 push-ups and then hit the shower. I take it quick and then get dressed. I grab my hair gel and I'm not proud to say that it takes me twice as long to do it as it usually does, wanting it to look perfect. It's 7:40 when I grab a bagel from the counter, wave hi to my parents who arrived last night, and run to the door almost forgetting my backpack. Once I'm out the door I head straight for the subway, getting to school just before the bell rings.

     I walk into Mr. Matthews class and almost smile when the usual mayhem continues. Kids sitting on their desks taking, some paper airplanes. I sit down at my desk behind Maya. I smile at her and she smiles back. I turn to my right to say hi to Farkle and Riley, they stop their conversation to start a new one with me. Riley smiles as she tells me good morning and Maya makes her usual amount of remarks towards me and about me, and I've never been so delighted to be insulted.

     The lunch bell rings as I'm putting the finishing touches on my assignment. The class empties out as I turn it in and I grab my backpack to rush to catch up with Farkle, Maya, and Riley. We sit down at our usual table and I listen as Farkle and Riley debate about what we learned about Belgium today. Riley hands Maya string cheese and an apple. Farkle hands her water and I hand her crackers. She says thanks to all of us and I know that she really means it. Even if she follows up the thanks with a mocking smile. Her bony body looks small even compared to Farkle. Is it always that way? I study her harder. I honestly don't know. She's always been so skinny I can't tell if it's gotten better or worse.

     I realize that I haven't looked away from Maya and debate if I should now that I've noticed. She eats her food quickly, almost like she's scared someone will take it away. She looks up at me and I smile. She squints her eyes suspiciously and sticks her tongue out at me before shoving some more crackers in her mouth. I just shake my head and hand her half of my sandwich.

                                    .    .    .

     The four of us walk to the bakery after school like we do most days. As soon as we find a booth, we all pull out our homework. Except Maya of course. She reaches into her pocket, takes out her left over crackers and leans back in her chair trying to catch them in her mouth, Farkle is the first to finish as always and he goes to get us some water. I haven't done as much as I should have. I'm distracted.

      Riley puts down her pencil and looks at me. "How was your break from school Lucas?" She asks happily. The breaks she's talking about happens to be two weekends ago. We had a couple of extra days off. I remember it well, that was when Maya stayed over. I look at Maya for a second, wondering if Riley's asking me because she knows something. Maya shrugs, but she has leaned forward In her chair, obviously anxious. She shakes her head slightly as she examines a nail, silently telling me she doesn't want anyone to know.

     "Actually, it was great," I say. I look at Maya but she's still examining her nails. Although I do think I spy a little blushing going on. If that doesn't make me want to burst out do the booth and yell hoorah i don't know what will. I look back to Riley, trying to keep the smile on my face at a normal level.