Complicated People, Complicated Love

The girls

Lucas:

I open my backpack to pull out my notebooks and a pencil, preparing for the class to start. I look to Riley who's sitting diagonally to me, one seat closer to the whiteboard. She's wearing a long flowing purple skirt and her short brown boots tap silently against the tile floor. Even while subconsciously shaking her leg she's considerate to the people around her. Her fingers are idly twirling through her long brown hair. She's writing intently even though we haven't been given an assignment yet. She looks up when the door opens and watches Maya enter, late as usual.

Riley's beautiful, sweet, quirky, everything I like. But something in me just can't seem to take that next step. I just don't like her like that. I try to act like I do, try and convince myself that it's possible, that maybe I do, but I just don't feel it. Not yet at least.

It makes me feel horrible. She clearly likes me, she really doesn't hide it well. I don't want to hurt her by telling her I don't feel the same way, she's one of my best friends and she's amazing. Not to mention if I hurt her, not only will she hate me, but Maya will too, my two best friends. Honestly, Maya will likely shank me. So I tell myself that the liking will come later. How can it not?

I shift my head to Maya, who's gone still at her desk after slumping into it, her slightly curled blond hair shining in the school lights. She's wearing ripped jeans and combat boots, leaning back in her chair, her skinny arm resting on my desk as she twirls a pencil on her own with her free hand, body turned to smile at Riley. Her yellow and black jacket provides a little color to the otherwise completely black outfit.

Maya and Riley have been my best and first friends since I moved here from Texas about a month ago. They've made me feel welcome, immediately inviting me to their little friend group after that day on the subway when we met. They've made me a little less homesick.

     Sure, Maya might not seem friendly but she is. She just has a different way of approaching people and expressing her emotions. Her affection and bonding comes from teasing, at least with people she's not completely soulmates with like Riley.

Mr. Matthews walks in, strange for him to arrive even later than Maya. He gives her a small look, making he think he was intentionally a little late in case she was. He begins class with a hand clap to get everyone's attention. I can't focus though, not with the memory of the first day I met these wonderful girls at the front of my mind. I smile to myself, eyes locked on Maya's twirling pencil and Riley's tapping foot.