Glee: Race to the Finish (the fifth book in the Glee series)

Chapter 8: 1, 2 Step

"What do you want?" Dan asked, dropping his bag by the door and heading into his kitchen.

Peyton's jaw dropped. She didn't recognize him; she was shocked by his rudeness and blatant disregard for her presence. She stood up and crossed her arms as he disappeared out of view into the kitchen, shuffling through his fridge for something to eat.

"Well hello to you, too," Peyton said once she had recovered from the sting of his response. "I came by because my friends begged me to come, not because I'm here." Dan slammed the fridge door shut and came back into view, not saying a word. "You need to get over yourself and go back to the studio, Dan. Publicly apologize to the people you slammed and then let the it all die out. They know you didn't mean it so—"

"You think I didn't mean it?" Dan laughed. "Peyton, you don't know what it's been like."

"No, I do know and I—" she began.

"No you don't  know," he stopped her. "You don't know because you ran away. You left town and I didn't hear from you so I don't think you realize what it's been like for me. I didn't realize that you were the only person who gave me the time of day until you left and I regret everything I did leading up to that point. But I don't regret what's happened since."

"You mean you don't feel even a little bit of guilt about what you said about Amity?" Peyton asked, repulsed. "That you called her selfish and that you slammed Julie for her pregnancy and completely dissed Santana? And the guys? All the people who have been there for you and supported you? And all why? Because you feel lonely. Because you're needy and you want more attention. Grow the hell up, Dan."

To her surprise, Dan pressed his lips together and then let out a soft laugh. "You still don't get it," he said softly. "You've never been where I have, Peyton. You don't know what it's like to be me. To be alone. To have no friends or family watching your back all the time. When I was on tour, every single interview question was about my connection to Crystal Army. My relationship with Julie. What it is like to open up for the amazing Tracy Moore. No one cared about my music. They wanted to know if Amity and I were a couple, not where we drew inspiration from. Many of them didn't even remember that I had a TV show. And now none of them are sending me questions about my movie—they're all questioning my thoughts on the same people they've always been asking me about. It's never going to be about me."

There was a long pause and then Peyton took a few steps towards him. "How long have you been this way?" she asked him.

"What are you talking about?" he asked in response.

"How long?" she repeated, her voice much louder and firmer. "Since when have you been so pathetic? What happened to the Dan who was confident and daring and didn't care what people thought about him? What was with the scared little helpless Dan from high school ? Or the man who replaced him when you grew a pair? Were you just pretending to be this bold guy all along to fool the rest of us into being your friends?"

"Maybe," he said spitefully. "Maybe I was just pretending and I've never been that guy you all keep speaking so fondly about. But I'm so sick of pretending, Peyton. I want to show the world what I really think so, no, I won't be apologizing for those messages I sent to Tatum and when I return to the studio it's going to be to record my music, not to make nice with any of these people who have proven not to care about me."

It was Peyton who laughed this time. "You know what?" she told him as she headed for the door. "Fine. But say what you will about the helpless high school Dan... He was never as big of a dick as the Dan who stands in front of me now."

Peyton took one final look at him and then continued on her way out. Dan kept his cool until she was gone, a point after which he sat down at his kitchen table and stared blankly ahead, wondering whether this new behavior was going to produce the results he wanted. Did he even know what those results were?