The Drummer || a.i [completed]

36 - the monster inside a person

// a/n that picture... ahhhh *hyperventilates*
oh yeah, btw I'm back from the dead, and decided to do a surprise update for you lol
but seriously, I'm sorry for the disappearance, I have no excuse other than school //

*Michael's POV*

I hadn't heard from Cassidy for a while, and it was worrying me slightly... okay, it was worrying me a lot. I saw her at school and she always seemed bubbly and happy, and everyone else believed it, but I could see through it. Something was bothering her, and that meant it was bothering me too. Outside of school, I would text her and call her, and she normally replied simply or she'd pick up the phone and try to end the call as soon as possible, but this evening, she wasn't replying or picking up the phone at all.

So, I decided I would go to her house and surprise her. I told my mum I was going out - she said that was fine as long as I got home by 11 - and then grabbed my coat and quickly hurried outside and along the pavement. Her house was about five blocks from mine, a short walk as long as I kept a quick pace.

I arrived ten minutes later at her door and rang her front doorbell. Her mum answered the door and when she saw me she smiled.

"Hi Michael, it's nice to see you." She said sweetly.

I nodded and looked at the floor awkwardly. I still found it quite weird talking to the parents of the girl I loved. "Nice to see you too, Mrs Jenkins. Is Cassidy in?" I mumbled quickly as a reply, looking over her shoulder into the house to see if I could catch a glimpse of that lovely blonde hair that belonged to the girl of my dreams.

"She's in her room, come on in." Cassy's mum beckoned me into the house and allowed me to stumble up the stairs. I knocked on Cassy's door and opened it immediately when I heard a stifled sob. I saw her lying on her bed, face buried in her folded arms which were resting on a pillow.

"Cass..." I whispered, hurrying to her side and lying down next to her, wrapping my arms around her comfortingly.

She gasped and stiffened suddenly. "Mikey, you shouldn't be here. Why did you come?" She murmured, almost inaudibly.

"How could you even ask me that? I love you, of course I'd come. I'm worried about you." I replied with complete honestly.

She crumpled and turned so her body was facing me, and she buried her face in my chest, sobbing openly and not holding any of her tears back. "I love you too, Mikey, so much. I should have told you."

"Told me what, babe?" I asked, kissing the top of her head.

She pulled away, and I let my arms fall away from her as she sat up. I sat up too, looking at her in confusion. Tears were still flooding down from her eyes, and she sniffed, wiping them away. "You know when we went on that double date with Tavie and Luke? When you asked me to be your girlfriend?" She muttered, looking down at her hands in her lap.

I grinned, nodding happily as I remembered the speed at which my heart had galloped along and the look that had been on her face when I asked her to be my girlfriend.

Her mouth did not echo my smile now, though, so mine faded. She ran a hand through her hair, an unhappy groan slipping through her lips with the same fluidity as her hair slipped through her fingers, a golden waterfall falling from her fingertips. "Do you remember the boy who we talked to before you asked me?"

I nodded, my expression falling somber. I had tried to remember that day as one of the happiest of my life, but I couldn't, because of that exchange with him. I wasn't sure how to approach the subject of what he said with Cassidy after that day, so I hadn't brought it up, but now she was bringing it up, and I had no clue how to approach it now, either. So I stayed quiet, waiting for her to continue.

She seemed hesitant, however, and I could see the regret on her face for having brought it up. But of course there was a reason she wanted to talk about him, and it was all up to her to explain it to me. "So, we were at school together before I moved to your school, with Tavie, Luke, Ashton, Calum and you. His name is Trevor, and he used to be my best friend."

She grimaced, as a wave of emotions passed over her once she admitted that. I could almost see the flood of memories spilling across her eyes, and hugged her to me as the rest of the confession came streaming out of her mouth.

"When I moved to that school, he was the first to welcome me, almost like Tavie. Actually, he was practically the exact same as Tavie back then, he welcomed me with the biggest smile I had ever seen; it was pulling his face in two, that was how big it was. He was so different to me, me with my shy smile and my curtain of hair hiding me from the world. I soon became dependent on him, on his enthusiasm, on his positivity, to get me through the school days. He was there for me any time I needed him, when I got bullied, when I got pushed around, when I just was generally hurt, emotionally, physically or both. That is why it hurt him so much when I wasn't there in that same way for him when he was hurting, when he was crying, and when he was loosing his mind."

Cassidy paused, the weight of her words pulling her mouth shut. I could feel her tears seeping through my shirt, and I began to cry too. I pulled her tighter to me and silenced my sobs. I couldn't give her any incentive to stop talking. Despite the tears, this was good for her.

"Trevor lost his mum about a year after I moved to that school. Throughout the year, he had done everything he could for me, and I guess I can't blame him for expecting at least some support from me. But when his mum died, I wasn't there for him. I was scared of taking some of the weight of his troubles onto my shoulders, and because of that he had to carry it all himself. I, as a best friend, was meant to be a shoulder to cry on, I was meant to be someone to lean on, to help him carry some of the weight. Instead I was just like his father; I ran away in fear from him, from the idea of being there and helping him alone. I can't believe I did that. I can't believe I didn't help him." She began sobbing uncontrollably into my shoulder, and I rubbed her back soothingly, whispering the words 'I love you' over and over into her ear.

"I wish I had been there for him, maybe he'd be the same boy he used to be." She muttered, and pulled away.

I shook my head and rubbed her tears away with my thumb. "You can't blame yourself for the way he's turned out, Cassy. You didn't spur that on."

She frowned and looked down. "When we finally talked again, about two months after his mum died, the first thing he said to me was that he felt dead inside, that the betrayal had eaten away at all his happiness, all his good qualities."

"Love, he was lashing out. Cassy, I love you, and I know you could never do that to a person, you are one of the kindest people I know, you could never bring out the monster inside a person." I assured her, I could feel her pain inside my chest, biting at my heart with sharp razor teeth.

"I wish I could believe you, Mikey, I really wish I could." She mumbled.

I was about to say more, I wanted her to be happy, to be smiling again, but she put a finger against my lips and just hugged me again.

"Thanks for listening, and for letting me share this with you." She whispered, and kissed my lips quickly, softly.

I sighed and nodded, holding her tightly. I was never going to let her go, or let her feel the way Trevor made her feel. She would never feel that way again, not with me by her side.