The Drummer || a.i [completed]

57 - someone could love you more

I'm just a lost boy, lost boy

thursday

"I can't act the same when you're the one who's looking at me differently!" I screamed at Ashton.

The wind blew my hair into my face so that my vision was impaired even more than it was already. The tears in my eyes, the lack of sun, and the wind were all making me unable to see my boyfriend in front of me. But even without all that, I still wouldn't be seeing my boyfriend. Ashton had changed since last Saturday.

"Tavie, I just want my girlfriend back, that's it," he said.

Not once since Saturday had he raised his voice at me. For five days he'd been speaking in the same, monotone, level voice, and it was driving me insane.

"I can't breathe next to you anymore! When I stand next to you I freeze!"

"Please. I want you with me. I need you with me," he was whispering. This was different.

I collapsed onto the floor in front of the swing he was sitting on. His knuckles were white wrapped around the chain of the swing.

"You want me back?"

His hazel eyes were lasers burning into my forehead. He hadn't looked me in the eyes for the past five days either.

"I can't be the same Octavia to you as I was before, Ash," I said. My voice was hourse. I'd been shouting too much.

He leaned back, hanging onto the swing by the chains, and looked up to the sky. I could see the blue and pink lines running up and down his neck, the system that kept him alive, that made him human.

"I know. But can you pretend to be?"

I looked up to the sky too, and knew we were staring at the same cloud. It was dark and ominous against the night sky, blocking out the stars and the moon. But the moon's light was shining through it, making it shine an almost supernatural silver.

"I've never been a good liar," I chuckled dryly, leaning my weight against my hands behind me.

"It's not lying. If you pretend to be my little miss sunshine for long enough, you'll become her, and it won't be pretending anymore," he suddenly sat up and looked me in the eye. It was unpredictable, this sudden honesty, and my eyes widened.

"I can't," I replied without thinking, and his eyes glazed over, his voice became monotone, and he looked everywhere but at my eyes again.

"Forget about it."

He stood up and held out his hand for me to take.

I hesitated, my heart beat quickly, I was afraid. But I took his hand and let him help me up. We walked hand in hand out of the park. He walked me home and dropped me on my porch, kissing me briefly before leaving me there.

My fingers lingered over my lips. My mind was blank.

But then a hundred questions flew into my mind and I rushed into the house and upstairs.

"Octavia?" My father's voice stopped me in the middle of the stairs, and my hands slid off the banister.

"Dad?"