Twisted Fate (Andley) (Prequel/Sequel RebelLove)

Chapter 40

-Kenadee's P.O.V.-

This wasn't how things were supposed to be, she wasn't supposed to be gone just yet. She hasn't seen me graduate college, start my first day at my job, get married, or have my first child. This isn't how things are supposed to go, she needs to be here and this can't be real. Daddy has been comforting me as well as trying to hold himself up, which makes it all the more real. I know it has to be real, but I just can't make it out to be that way. I pulled away from him, him letting me go and looking at me uncertain. I wiped my eyes and calmed myself down, getting up and going straight to my room. I didn't look at the strange looks from everyone, I just wanted to get to my room and be alone. I closed my door and locked it, going to my bed and laying down, I didn't know what to do.

There was nothing that I could do, but my urge to do something was stronger than anything and all I wanted to do was just lay here for the moment. I wanted to lay here and be a little kid again and let my mommy hold me close to her and kiss my head like she used to. I wanted to hear her laugh and I longed for those memories we shared with each other. Pillow fights that we had, secrets we shared, dressing up, all of it, they were just nothing but memories now. I wish I would have kept my promise. I promised I'd come see them at least once on the weekends and I knew I could have. Pop-pop would have let me if I just told him, but I didn't, and I should have. It's not that I don't love my parents, it's just I didn't like where we stayed, I didn't want to go back just yet. I know now how selfish that sounds.

I could have went to have dinner with them or just went for a simple hello before leaving. I didn't have to do anything major, just little things were all that mattered, why couldn't I have seen that? I felt tears slowly cascade down my face and I just would rather have had to stay home. I could have watched after them and made sure that no one hurt them. This is not how things are supposed to go, her and daddy always talked how much they looked forward to growing old together. They'd always talk about how they couldn't wait to see their grandchildren and if they would be as beautiful as me. I laid there on my bed, pulling my pillow up to me and not attempting to stop the tears that fell from my eyes. They weren't going to stop any time soon and I knew that much as to be true.

My body was so exhausted, but still managed to make me cry and grow weaker by the minute, everything in me trying to keep a straight face. Trying to be strong somehow, but who can really be strong enough to deal with something such as that. I remember a journal she kept for the last week I was in her stomach to the first week of my birth. I remembered her telling the journal entries to me as if they were stories of their own. She told me a few that I remember so vividly, her description, the way she told it with her hands and showing me what happened. I could hear her voice as I remembered myself lying in bed and watching her smile as she read.

"And when you were in my belly, the best part about the whole entire thing was when you moved. You moved a lot the more you grew, but the best part was at night, especially that last week. I'd sit in bed with your father and when I'd feel you kick, I'd show him and he'd touch my belly and feel you moving around. I remember one day, it was a Thursday, he lifted my shirt up to give you a kiss and when he did, he could see the imprint of your foot. All your movements, we could see them all and I remember him laying and watching my belly until he fell asleep. And when I woke up that next morning, he was sitting there, that same exact spot, talking to you." She said with a soft smile.

"Did I hurt you?" I remember asking, mouthing the words myself and seeing her shake her head.

"Not one bit. I loved every moment and the moment you arrived and I got to hold you for the first time, was the best moment ever. The moment I touched you, you stopped crying, yawning with your little mouth and it was so magical." She explained, closing her eyes and a tear dropping from her face a little, then opening her eyes. "We watched you sleep plenty of times, and when you'd wake us up to be fed or changed, we'd play rock, paper, scissors to see who got you. Your father would win the first few times, until I noticed he picked the same thing each time, and soon I was winning." She said, looking at my hand and kissing it and my forehead.