Kavi One Shots

It's Okay, You're Alright

Avi Kaplan's POV

Meet Kirstin Maldonado, or Kirstie: Broken, scared and unfixable. Or so she thought. And I did for a while too.

No, we're not dating (sadly), and the fact that I said 'sadly' probably gives you the idea I like her, and I do. A lot.

She is basically my best friend, except she has been calling me a lot more at night, asking for help. I always went to her apartment but sometimes she was either fine or asleep again.

You're probably thinking that is a strange thing to do and you're completely right. How strange.

But of course, most times she'd be crying, violently shaking and her face would be tear-filled.

You're now probably asking, "What's wrong?" and I'm going to tell you.

Kirstie used to be this ball of love, fluff and everything glittery. She used to be this shy yet outgoing, happy yet emotional girl that I seemingly liked for a while. Except one day, everything tumbled down. She became distant, quiet, sad, and over emotional. This all happened because of one thing: her parents. No, I'm certainly not blaming them. The day they died of a car accident by some drunk douche, Kirstie stopped being herself. She just stopped speaking, or doing anything a basic human would need. I had to pressurize her into eating and drinking just so she could stay alive.

It has been two months now. She doesn't speak a lot, only calling me and telling me she's having the nightmares again.

She blamed herself which is totally uncalled for. She wasn't the driver and so it isn't her fault, not one bit.

I always told her these four words: It's okay, you're alright.

Except the day she didn't call me was the day I felt relief, scarce and overwhelming sadness. Relief because she might have stopped, scarce because what if she didn't and felt as if she was bothering me, sadness because I actually missed her.

I called her while getting my sweatpants on. No response.

I texted her.

Avi:
I'm gonna be there soon.

I ran to her house, forgetting about my car and knocked on her door furiously. It's 1 AM and I'm going to be relieved if she's okay.

I heard footsteps and a crying Kirstie answered the door. I engulfed her into an embrace and whispered the four words multiple times in her ear.

"That's the thing, Avi! It's never going to be okay!" Kirstie sobbed uncontrollably onto my shoulder. I let my own tears fall, "It's okay, you're alright. Everything's gonna be fine."

"No—no... It was my damn fault, Avi!" Kirstie latched her arms around my neck with her head buried in my chest.

I took her hand and entwined our own fingers, "Shh. It's okay."

I traced circles onto her palm and closed her door when I realized it was open.

I brought her to her bedroom and sat on the bed. "Come on." I patted the spot next to me and she reluctantly agreed, sitting and burying her face again.

"Kirstie, look at me." I said.

She did.

"Kirstin Maldonado, you can not force yourself to think that the douche that sadly killed your parents was your fault. You can't pin yourself to their death and say it was your fault. You can't blame yourself for something you couldn't stop and didn't even start. It will never be your fault, despite whatever the fucks that tell you otherwise. They clearly don't know the whole story, assuming it was because of you when it wasn't. I'm not going to just sit here and listen to you say that this incident was all of your fault, because Kirstie Maldonado, it's the furthest thing from your fault. If your parents heard you blaming yourself, they'd tell you it wasn't. I love you Kirstie, and I am not going to stand by and watch this." I said without even stopping for a breath.

She just stared at me. She's processing it.

She looked down at our entwined hands and I swear I saw the faintest smile on her lips, "You love me?"

I blushed, "That isn't the point."

"You love me." Kirstie said as if it were unbelievable. "Are you sure?"

"I have never been more sure on anything ever." I responded.

"Please don't say it out of pity." Kirstie whispered.

I shook my head, "I'm definitely not saying it out of pity."

Kirstie slightly smiled, "I love you too."

I grinned, "Can I hug you?"

"Yes." Kirstie nodded and I did.

I embraced her as tight as I could.

She silently sobbed, "I thought we went over this." I chuckled. "No—I'm sobbing because the man I love actually loves me back."

My heart rate quickened. "Calm down, Avi." Kirstie laughed. Her head was on my chest so it was plausible she heard it.

"I love you Kirst." I smiled down and her.

"I love you too Avi." She smiled and pecked me.

***

a/n;; short short short SHORT

ok sorry for the short update but I had to wrap it up

this idea came to me earlier today when I had an anxiety/panic attack and I had to whisper the four words to myself. it surprisingly helped.

anyways, thanks for reading! :)

💕💕💕