All Of Me - (Islamic fiction, Z.M. Sequel)

Chapter 54

Ever since that day with Seif's family, I had it in me to see what was being said about me but I was too scared to actually go stalk Zayn's fans online. I wasn't even exactly sure what I was scared of finding out but I just couldn't bring myself to do it alone.

All week long I had been dodging a non-existing bullet. All I could do was avoid the whole thing by busying myself with my exams. I've been studying day and night and whenever Zayn would call or text, I would just forget about everything and pretend that nothing was bothering me.

He wasn't stupid to believe me of course but I think he just settled for the fact that I was stressed with my exams.

After a torturous seven days of doing nothing but avoiding my own thoughts, I decided to do the one thing that I had the guts to do. No, not actually go figure out what the problem was, but rant to Tasneem about it. Even though she had tons of school work to finish and I had on last exam to prepare for, I couldn't just keep everything bottled up like that.

We had a very long and detailed conversation about everything that had been happening between me and Zayn. All the worries I had bottled up and all the fears of what he might be doing when I wasn't there, or even what his people might be feeding the media. It was all eating me up inside.

"Since I started school, I hadn't really had time to keep up with the latest in the fandom so I can't really help you with either confirming or denying your very legit worries." I sighed fondling with the hem of my shirt. I was really hoping she would save me the trouble of doing the search myself. "But I can help you with sorting your thoughts."

"What do you mean?" I asked confused.

"I mean, I understand your fear of what you will find out. Especially that yours and Zayn's relationship is still in the beginning and you hadn't had any fights other than that one you had before you two were really together." I shivered just remembering those days. I never want to go back to them, ever again.

Shaking my head of the memory, I focused back on the conversation, "What does that have to do with the rumors?"

"Nothing really, it has to do with you. You are scared that whatever those rumors were, they were going to come between you and Zayn. That you two couldn't last through them. You didn't even question Zayn about that girl you saw during your Skype date, although the matter clearly still bugs you."

"No it doesn't." I said a little too defensively that I intended.

"Then why did you tell me about it?" She raised an eyebrow at me expectedly and when I didn't answer she smirked knowing that she was indeed right.

Who am I kidding, she was always right.

"I just don't want us to fight when he is away. If he decides to just turn off his phone that would be it. He would completely isolate himself from me." I sighed, my words coming out a little distant. Like they weren't even mine. I guess I was too scared to think about it even to myself.

"He wouldn't do that. Trust me." She seemed to have so much faith in my relationship while I didn't. I had no ground to stand on. Yeah, Zayn might have showed me how much I meant to him by his non conditional care and love but that was just because I never really did anything to test his feelings.

"It doesn't matter anyway, he is coming tomorrow morning. I don't want our first day after a month to be ruined by something that probably didn't matter to begin with." I shrugged the whole subject off feeling anxious about seeing him tomorrow.