BROKEN.

4. Swing.

Heyyy guys!! So I hope you like the story so far!! I'm having a ball writing it :) Do comment and let me know what you think and thank you for reading this and giving it a chance.

TRIGGER WARNING: SEXUAL ASSAULT

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ELAHEH

There were always a few hours during the day that I was left by myself. Sloan would head out for reasons unknown to me and I was not to be touched when he wasn't around. I knew it was because if he was not controlling the situation, somebody would take it too far and I would be killed. I wouldn't be of much use to him then.

My body still ached from the treatment I had two hours ago. It was fifteen men today. Fifteen sick, ugly, abusive, grunting men. One after the  other they went for it, drilling themselves into me. I could still feel their nails digging into my hips while they pumped themselves inside me and it made my skin crawl.My eyes burned with tears I was too tired to shed. I hurt everywhere, my body, my mind,my pride. I thought about my brother, my sweet, loving brother and my heart just broke. He must have been going out of his mind searching for me. I was the only family he had left apart from Jenna, his mate. I knew it would break him to lose me, still I couldn't help but wish that I would die and they would throw my body in some river before he found me. I couldn't stand the thought of him seeing me like this...so broken and weak, used again and again for the pleasure of worthless men.

After my parents died, I was the only one who saw how affected he was. He held his head up high and stood at their funeral with dry eyes. I stood by him, my eyes equally dry but the pain and anger that rolled off of him were almost palpable. He wasn't given any time to grieve because soon after they died, he was made Alpha. I expected him to throw himself into his work to forget but that's not what he did. He spent most of his time worrying that I was not coping properly because he didn't see me shed one tear. I had snuck out one night to meet my boyfriend of the time and when I came back home I heard crashing. I came down the stairs from my room to the study where the noises were coming from. 

"DAMMIT!!" Came a loud yell, followed by the sound of another crash, like he had hurled something at the wall. Then everything went quiet and I heard the scrape of a chair indicating that he had sat down and that his rant was finished. I crept up the stairs and into my bed quietly. I never told him that I had heard him and the next day he was all smiles. He should have realized that I could tell his fake smiles from his real ones. 

Then Jenna came into our lives. Sweet, timid Jenna. It was in her nature to be kind but Kaveh had the ability to bring out the monster in her. They frustrated each other and cursed at each other. They just couldn't stand one another and my best friend Jackie and I always had the urge to grab some popcorn and watch. I for one loved Jenna instantly. She just lit up the room when she walked in, with her bright eyes, shy smile, unassuming beauty and long cascading, golden hair. I thought of her and Jackie and I felt hollow. What were they doing? Did they miss me? I could almost imagine Jackie pacing her room on the verge of pulling her hair out. I knew that she had to be so lonely and so scared.

I knew they would all be alone in their fear for me. While Jenna could soothe Kaveh's distraught feelings, the fear and pain wouldn't leave and Jackie...I hoped she wouldn't try facing this alone.

My shoulders ached. I let my chin rest against my chest in fatigue. I didn't want to do this anymore. There was a searing pain behind my eyes and the urge to press my fingers to my eyes was strong and my inability to do so had my stomach clenching. It was the little things like this, scratching an itch, the need to tuck my hair behind my ears but being unable to do so that really hit home. 

I groaned softly at the pain my body felt. I licked my chapped lips which were caked with dried blood. I stared at the chair in front of me where Sloan would often sit, talking to me. I never bothered listening to him. Even when he mentioned Kaveh's name I ignored him. In the beginning, I was glad that he was searching for me, but now I was anything but. I didn't want him to find me...not like this.

I had a sudden urge to push my body forward and swing. Maybe if I was stronger I would have attempted it...just for something to do you know? Besides losing my mind, there was not much I did in my few lonesome hours. I reminisced about my family. My mother's beautiful face, and my father's smile. I looked exactly like my mother except for the fact that my features never could quite capture the beauty that hers held. Kaveh looked like dad but we both had his brown hair and my mother's blue eyes. 

My perfect world had shattered when they were killed. There's nothing quite like watching your parents die. It's not something you'll ever recover from. You never stop waking up in the morning expecting the smell of your mother's cooking or the sound of your father coming home in the evening with tired eyes but a happy smile. Your mom isn't there anymore to wipe your tears and your dad isn't there to threaten your boyfriend's life if he so much as thinks about hurting you. I remember the ache in my chest as I set the alarm on my phone for six in the morning for the first time because mum would never wake me up again. I'd never again hear her tell me to get my lazy butt out of bed before she dragged me out herself. 

I missed my mom's voice all the time. She would sing around the house and her voice was beautiful. My dad often said that her voice had often saved him from himself. I had inherited her gift for singing. It was a pity that my brother had the voice of a dying frog though. I thought about how my mother would sing for us when we cried to her. She would say that music could help you through anything. It was something that had always stuck with me but she couldn't sing to me now. 

I just hung there...hungry, alone, aching. So I did what she would have done to keep herself sane...I sang.

My voice was raspy from screaming so much but I pushed through it anyway and the most ironic song tumbled through my lips.

"If I die young,                                                                                                                                                                           bury me in satin                                                                                                                                                                     Lay me down on a bed of roses                                                                                                                                        Sink me in the river at dawn                                                                                                                                             Send me away with the words of a love song"

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