BROKEN.

37. Grieving.

I know...I'm the worst. And that's putting it mildly. I'm sorry I took so long!! I've just been so out of it and didn't have the right motivation. But with just a few more chapters to go, I shall try and hurry it up.

I hope you enjoy this!! Leave your comments and let me know what you think. As always...unedited.

Bye! Sorry again.
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ELAHEH

A week had passed since the battle. Death hung over us all. The wailing of mothers, wives, children and mates echoed in my head every time I closed my eyes or was by myself. Aleksy lay in a bed in the pack hospital and was therefore unable to visit all those who had lost someone they had loved. I wasn't Luna yet but that didn't stop anyone from addressing me by that title. I made my way to the pack house to see Mrs. Peters. She was Evan's mother. Images of Evan's body flashed through my mind. I remembered watching as his body was lowered into the ground. His mother had put on a brave face. Her eyes were filled with tears but she never let them spill. Her fingers had been tightly interlocked as though she was trying to keep them from shaking but I saw her weakness. I saw how she couldn't keep her lower lip from trembling. I saw the way her shoulders hunched when she walked...like she was just too...tired. She was old but she had been full of laughter and warmth. She was the pack's cook. She lived in the pack house because it made life easier for her. Her food was amazing. She was intelligent and it was not hard to see the strength and vitality she possessed. Now it looked like she had been sapped of it all. And it was all my fault. She had lost her son because of me. She had lost him because he had fought for me.

The burden felt heavy on my shoulders. I had made my visits to every family, even those that hadn't lost anybody to give them my everlasting gratitude. Chad had told me that the pack might fall into disarray since Aleksy had been indisposed and he was their strength. Without him, they were nothing. It was the first time I had seen just how much they all loved him. They had seemed genuinely heartbroken. I thought of Aleksy lying in that cold hard bed. He hadn't woken up even once. Coma. The word made my heart feel like it was about to implode. I had done my best to keep everyone together and positive but it was difficult to do when my own hopes felt like they were dwindling.

I tried not to drag my feet as I approached the pack house. My hand hovered over the door knob. I took a deep breath and slowly let it out. When I opened the door and stepped inside, everything went silent. I looked around at the curious eyes that blinked up at me. The pups sat on the carpet, some coloring, some playing at being wolves some reading picture books. The T.V was being blasted and a group of men were sitting around it. Cassidy sat in a corner painting her nails. Her eyes met mine and they filled with hate. It had never bothered me before but now I resisted the urge to flinch. The rest though, didn't look hateful. They had all paused what they were doing to look at me and slowly they began to smile and greet me. I didn't see any blame in their eyes and it only fueled my guilt. I straightened up and walked to the kitchen. Mrs.Peters shuffled around and I couldn't really pay attention to what she was doing. Instead, I traced the lines in her face that seemed to have appeared over night. The skip in her step was gone and much like me, she looked like she was trying not to drag her feet. She stopped to stir something in a pot and I stared at her profile. Her movements seemed mechanical and her mind was far away....with her son most likely.

As if finally sensing my presence, her hand froze. She tilted her head to look at me. Her soft brown eyes were wells of sadness and I knew she was seeing the same thing in my own. Her eyes glazed over and I wondered who she was talking to. A girl, maybe a few years younger than me came skipping into the room. She wasn't terribly attractive when you first looked at her but once you spent some time around her like I had done, you realized that there was something alluring about her. Her name was Linda. Linda smiled at me and went over to Mrs. Peters and took over from her.