seventeen: and i'm sorry
"You're joking right?" Louis asks, staring at Zayn in complete disbelief. Zayn takes a shaky breath, running his hand through his hair as he closes his eyes.
"No... I... I can't do this anymore Louis."
"What even is this, Zayn? Because last I checked we were actually trying to be a family."
"That's not even close to what we've been doing. We've been too busy f ucking each other to even try to focus on being a family." Zayn says bitterly, biting his bottom lip as he refuses to look at Louis. Zayn couldn't explain how he was feeling right now and he hated it. Zayn hated everything about their situation and he just wished that for once they could be happy for more than a day. He wanted to be a family, he wanted his kids to have the life he never had but Louis was making it nearly impossible.
"You act like that's my fault." Louis says, crossing his arms over his chest as he quirks an eyebrow at Zayn. Zayn lets out a sigh before running his hand through his hair again. He didn't know what to say or do, he just wanted Louis to actually act like he cared... He wanted Louis to fight for him, but it seemed like Louis didn't want to.
"Maybe it is, I don't know Louis." Zayn says, throwing his hands up in the air as if that would help prove his point.
"Well what do you know?" Louis asks, his voice coming out a little harsher than he intended. He didn't get why Zayn always blamed him for the bad things, it wasn't always his fault that things fell to shit.
"I know that you don't love me." Zayn points out, surprising Louis just a little. He knew that he was really shitty at this, that he kept putting it off... but Louis did care about Zayn, very much so.
"What does that have to do with this?" Louis asks, his voice quiet now as he looks at Zayn sadly. Zayn scoffs at that, shaking his head for what already felt like the millionth time today before looking at Louis.
"It has everything to do with this. You don't love me, Louis. What's stopping you from running away again? From taking my sons away from me again? You don't care about me, you don't care about how I feel. You don't care about the fact it nearly kills me every time you look at me because I know that you don't love me like I love you. I can't let you hurt me again and that's why I'm done. That's why I'm telling you that I'm not going to let you use me any longer."
"Are you even hearing yourself right now? I know what I did was wrong, I know I shouldn't have left let alone right after you told me you loved me. I know I f ucked up, and I'm sorry. What I did to you was practically unforgivable... but you need to understand that I did what I thought was right. I was scared, I didn't know what else to do... So I ran away. You can sit there and pretend that you don't get why I did what I did, but we both know better. I know you've changed, the old you would've let me walk out that door without a blink of an eye. I'm sorry that it took me so long to realize that... and I'm sorry that you seem to think I don't care about you... cause I do. But after what I've done to you... I can understand why you don't think I do, and I understand why you probably hate me more than you love me." Louis whispers, fully expecting Zayn to just glare at him. He was a little surprised that Zayn wasn't glaring at him though, but was instead refusing to even look at him. Zayn's eyes were directed towards the ceiling, a hand running down his face as he blinks back tears. Louis knew what he did to Zayn left scars, scars that even he couldn't fix... so maybe Zayn was right. Maybe it was better if he shut Louis out, pushed him away... because then he wouldn't get hurt again. Louis didn't want to hurt Zayn again.
"I don't hate you. There are times that I wish I could... It would be so much easier if we could just walk away like nothing ever happened between us... but we both know that's not the case. You jus don't seem to get it though, do you? I started losing my mind when I realized I was falling for you. And now, I'm losing my sanity trying to get over you. Every time I get even remotely close to feeling okay again.. you come back and it mess it all up. You can keep telling yourself that it wasn't real, that it meant nothing to you but I'm not going to believe it. It was worth it to me, loving you...I'll never regret that." Zayn whispers back, finally looking at Louis. Louis' heart breaks a little as he sees how much pain he'd caused Zayn reflect back from the older's eyes.
"This is real though. What you and me have, it's real. I love you, Zayn and I don't want to lose you again."
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Surprise. Louis said it.
surprise. I updated.
Surprise.
SURPRISE.
whoop whoop
Dedication goes to ziamislove93
QOTC: do you guys think Zayn will believe that Louis loves him?
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Perfect (sequel to Style)(zouis mpreg)(book two)
Fanfiction"You don't seem to get it, do you? I started losing my mind when I realized I was falling for you. And now, I'm losing my sanity trying to get over you. You can keep telling yourself that it wasn't real, that it meant nothing to you but I'm not goin...
