Have No Emotion, Show No Weakness

Regret

Figured I'd upload another quickly whist chilling in London this afternoon! Praying to bump into anyone from the Cas cast before the NTAs tonight 😉😂
Connie woke up in bed, it was still dark and her alarm hadn't even gone off yet.  She'd only been home for a few hours yet she was wide awake.  Instead of lying there she got up and walked into the bathroom staring deep into the mirror.

She ran a hand through her hair internally ribbing herself for what she'd done.  How could you be so stupid?

Walking back into the bedroom she looked to the bed where Jacob lay asleep.  Connie leant against the door frame as her legs felt weak.  She walked out of the room before anything else happened and headed downstairs.

She contemplated going out, but that meant leaving him in her home.  Then she looked to the cupboards...  She got up and went to walk towards the kitchen were her eye caught a picture.  Connie walked towards it, picking it up and smiling at how happy her and Grace looked.

She sat down on the edge of the sofa just looking at it.  She was so engrossed she didn't hear anyone enter the room.  "Connie what are you doing, it's really late."  Looking up she noticed Jacob had come downstairs not wearing much and sat beside her.  He gently placed a hand on her lower back comforting her. 

"Jacob-" "Don't if you want me to go then I'll get my things.  I'd understand."  When she didn't answer he moved to get up but she held onto his hand.  Neither said anything but he moved back to her and kissed her again.  She automatically moved her arms around his neck as he lifted her up.

Connie wrapped her legs around his waist as he carried her back upstairs.  He kissed her before lying her on the bed and leaning above her.  How he had got here he had no idea but it was what he'd wanted for so long.

A while later Connie was facing away from him in the bed.  She sniffed causing him to roll over and place a hand on her arm.  "Hey, I know you don't do feelings but you can tell me you know... I want to be here for you Connie."

She rolled over and looked up at him as he ran his fingers across her cheekbone.  "You know you're going to regret all this don't you?  Because even though this has happened, I know exactly what'll happen tomorrow and the day after that."

He watched her as she spoke, gently moving his hand to run through her hair. "I'll make you wish you never slept with me and you'll hate me for the things I say to you-" "I could never hate you because I-" he stopped before he said anything else but Connie had noticed and she knew what he was about to say.

Rather than bring it up she tried changing the subject.  "Nobody can know this happened Jacob-" "If that's what you want."  He pulled her closer until her head rested on his chest.  She hated to admit it, but it felt good and she didn't want it to end.  "If you don't want anyone to know, fine.  If you don't ever want to do this again, fine.  If you do, but you don't want anything serious out of this, fine... You know where to find me when you know."

Connie stayed quiet as she lay with him.  She had no idea what she wanted right now but she was sure that something would be said soon enough making it crystal clear to everyone else.