Have No Emotion, Show No Weakness

No Air

Connie was laying across the sofa with nothing to do. Jacob had taken Grace out early that morning and they still hadn't got back.

She let her head drop to the sofa as she placed her hands across her stomach. The thought of becoming a Mother was at times the best news she could have ever imagined but slowly it was becoming her worst nightmare.

As thoughts consumed her mind she felt her breathing quicken. She tried slowing it down and seemed to be okay. Connie needed a distraction. She got up and began moving things around the kitchen before heading upstairs to get changed.

Standing in front of the mirror in her underwear and dressing gown she glanced at her stomach. It wouldn't be long until it was obvious something was going on. She could already see a small bump forming, how would Jacob not know when he always wraps his arms around her waist.

As all the worries came flooding back Connie felt her chest begin to tighten. Ignoring it she continued to move around the bedroom, not taking it slowly like she'd been told to.

By the time she stopped again she could barely breath. Connie struggled for breath as she tried fumbling for her phone but not succeeding.

The front door opened as Grace stepped in laughing. "Did Mum go out?"  Jacob frowned shaking his head. "I don't think so, probably getting changed or something.  Why don't you run upstairs and see while I put all this away."

Grace nodded before running to the stairs. Connie could hear them downstairs but it just made it worse as she tried to walk to the door but couldn't. She ended up with her back against the wall and a hand pressed to her chest as her breaths got quicker and shorter.

Connie began to cough a little as Grace walked through the door. "Hey Mum... Mum?"  Grace walked in front of her beginning to panic. "Mum!?  Jacob, quick it's Mum!"  Connie's breathing was rapidly getting worse, she seemed to have no way of calming herself anymore.

Jacob sprinted up the stairs hearing Grace call for him. He ran into the bedroom moving Grace aside when he saw Connie. "Ja- Jacob... I can't, I, I can't breath..."  He took hold of her hands. "Con, hey, calm down for me."  She just seemed to worry more rather than anything else.

Jacob pulled out the chair from the table and made her sit down. He knelt down on the floor keeping eye contact with her. "Please baby, take a deep breath. Breath with me, just like before."  He nodded as she started to copy him.

Connie's chest felt like someone was digging a knife deep into her lungs. Tears rolled down her cheeks as slowly her breathing became easier but the tears fell faster and thicker. "Hey come here..."  Jacob pulled Connie tightly into his chest as she continued to cry.

Jacob gently rubbed her back as Connie rest her head against his shoulder. "Grace could you go get your Mum a glass of water?"  She nodded leaving the room while Jacob looked down at her. "Come on, you need to sit down properly." 

He took her hand and sat beside her on the bed, one arm wrapped around her shoulders. "You want to tell me what happened?"  Connie pulled the dressing gown shut around her waist feeling conscious.

"I was getting changed and started moving some things around before I just couldn't... I can't be like this Jacob, I can't-" "Hey, shh..."  He brushed a hand against her cheek. "How am I supposed to look after myself when I can barely do simple things?"  Connie sat away from him and pulled her knees up to her chest.

Grace came back in and passed her a glass of water. "Thanks sweetheart."  Connie offered her a smile before gently hugging her. It was like she put on a mask to her daughter so she didn't see how broken and hurt she really was. "Why don't you go put the TV on, I'll come down and sit with you?"  Grace nodded disappearing as Connie went to move.

"Woah, do I not get any explanation?"  "What do you want me to say? That I'm completely helpless and need to rely on you to calm me down because you're the only place I really feel safe?"  Jacob stood up and came around to stand before her. He took her hands and laced his fingers through hers.

"You, Mrs Beauchamp, are the least helpless person ever imaginable.  Feeling safe with someone doesn't mean you're not capable either."  She stepped forwards resting her head against his chest once again taking a steady deep breath. "I'm sorry-" "Don't apologise sweet cheeks... I love you, I'll always be here for you."

Connie hugged him properly and they remained in the others embrace for a moment. "Jacob I'm-" "Come on, we should go down to Grace she'll only moan." Just when she'd had the bottle to tell him he stopped her. She just nodded and forced a smile as she took his hand and wandered down to spend the afternoon lying up on the sofa with them.