Have No Emotion, Show No Weakness

Wounds Heal and Cracks Show

Days had passed since the day Jacob was shot. Connie had continued to work downstairs as though nothing had ever happened. Alicia knew there was more to it than Connie was letting on but decided not to push her.

Little did they all know that Connie had been sat by his bedside every waking moment that she wasn't working, hoping he'd wake up soon. She knew he was alright but they just didn't know when he would come round.

"Ah Mrs Beauchamp, we're raising money for Jacob to get him something-" "Why he was shot and is recovering not dying?" Her bluntness gained the attention of both Charlie and Alicia standing by reception. "Yeah but it must be boring upstairs." Connie nodded before taking some money out of her bag and passing it over to Noel who looked at it as she walked away.

Alicia went to speak but Charlie rested a hand on her shoulder. "Let me." He smiled warmly as Alicia walked back to cubicles instead. Charlie knocked gently on her office door before letting himself in.

"Can I help you?" Charlie looked at her waiting for her to say something else. "Please don't look at me like that Charlie-" "Then get up there and make sure he's okay." She looked at him shaking her head "I can't Charlie." He looked across at her about to speak but she cut him off. "I've got patients to see and a department to run so if you don't mind." She excused herself and moved around him out of her office.

Hours passed and Connie couldn't focus on anything but him. She sat at her desk when someone gently knocked. "Come in..." Cal stepped into her office holding onto a wrapped box before placing it on her desk. Connie looked down at it confused before Cal spoke. "It's Jacob's, figured you should go up and give it to him..."

Connie didn't speak but Cal turned around and looked at her again. "Look Connie we both know how much you care about him, so stop being so stubborn and go see him-" "What would it matter he wouldn't know-" "Did I not mention he's woken up?" Her eyes darted to his and he knew then that he'd been right to say what he did. "Go and see him Connie because he loves you and you almost lost your chance to tell him you felt the same once, don't risk it again." She watched as he left her office. After everything the first proper conversation the two of them have was about her feelings for someone else...

Connie then remembered he'd said Jacob was awake. She picked up the box and headed towards the bathroom stopping in front of the mirror. Why did she care so much what she looked like, it wasn't like he was going to be looking that great. She shook her head leaning against the sink looking up at herself.

Leaving the toilet she passed Charlie. "I'm just going up to check on Staff Nurse Masters seeing as I've been dumped with this to give him. I won't be longer than 10 minutes okay-" "Take as long as you need." Connie forced a smile before heading upstairs.

As soon as she stepped onto the ward she regretted the decision to come up here. She paused at the door looking at him. He'd been put into a private side room while he recovered at her request.

Jacob hadn't noticed Connie standing at the door so she took a breath before opening the door and walking in. "Mrs B, what did I do to earn your company?" She grinned walking closer to the bed. "Well you're my patient, I like to check up on them and make sure they're still living sometimes." He smiled as he watched her flick through his patient chart. "Someone got an admirer?" She looked confused before remembering the present. "Oh it's not for me, it's yours. Noel and everyone downstairs wanted to get you something for the room... Thought you'd be bored."

Jacob opened it up with a shocked expression. "Wow, you know I'd much rather prefer some company up here..." He was met by a blank expression from Connie as she turned away. She felt a hand hold onto hers causing her to look back at him.

"Thank you-" "Jacob-" "I know that it was you that saved my life. I wouldn't still be here without you." 

Connie watched as any joking seemed to evaporate from it. "I've never been so scared in my life Connie. I thought I was going to die-" "You really think I'd have let you die?" He raised his eyes to hers seeing the pain it had all caused her too. "I'm sorry Connie, for everything that's happened, really."

She looked at him before resting a hand on top of his and rubbing it gently. "Get well soon Staff Nurse Masters." Her eyes looking anywhere but to him.

Connie pulled her hand back and walked towards the door. "I love you..."  It made her stop in the doorway, she knew it and she'd heard him say it once but he thought he was dying and was in pain.  This time he knew exactly what he was saying and meant it. She couldn't bring herself to turn around. "I know you do..."  Connie could feel the tears threatening to fall so left the room while she could.

Walking away she glanced through the window to see him drop his head back to the bed in defeat. Connie clasped a hand to her mouth as she left the ward and headed for her office hoping to slip past everyone without notice.

She needed time alone, she needed to get out of here for a few days that was for sure. Connie grabbed her coat and bag before closing her office door only to be seen by Charlie. "Connie-" "I'm going home early, not feeling too great..."  She looked up to see Alicia and Cal standing by the nurses' station. "Staff Nurse Masters can have visitors, I think he'd really appreciate seeing a few of you up there. He's bored and I think he could do with the company."  Alicia nodded looking to Connie knowing she'd been crying. She coughed clearing her throat a little before looking at Charlie "I'm going to take a few days off, I'll see you next week Charlie."

"Connie..." but it was too late. She was already gone walking out of the department and towards her car. She wanted to disappear for a while, forget about absolutely everything.