Have No Emotion, Show No Weakness

Not So Strong After All

"This is Jacob Masters, 36. Gun shot wound to the left arm.  He's lost a lot of blood and is struggling for breath."

Connie turned around from the nurses' station to see Jacob being pushed in on a trolley. "Staff Nurse Masters?"  She was in complete shock and confusion as to how he'd ended up like this.

She took her place beside the bed pushing onto his arm. Jacob groaned and moved slightly in response. "I need you to stay still for me."  She pushed again as they rushed through to resus.

Her thoughts were clouded but she pushed everything aside to treat him. She wasn't about to lose him.

"I've been shot..." "Well done Sherlock I thought even you might have established that a littler quicker."  He tried pulling the oxygen mask off his face but she reached across the bed grabbing his hand. Gently she let her hand rest on his cheek for a moment, rubbing her thumb across his skin. "No leave that on, you need that right now okay..."  Her voice wavered towards the end as her emotions began to surface.

"Come on, stay still for me Jacob okay."  Alicia and Rita had come into the room and were moving about the bed helping. "Okay I need two cross matched units as soon as possible. Call theatre tell them to get ready for him..."

"Hey, hey... Stay with me okay. I've got you, I'm not going to let anything happen to you, alright?"  "Connie?" "Yeah it's me... You're going to be alright." Connie pushed her hands against his arm again seeing how much pain she was causing him. "I'm sorry I know this hurts... Can I get 10mg of morphine please!"

Connie quickly took the syringe from Rita before pressing it to his arm. "Okay I've given you some pain relief that should start to help straight away okay?" She forced a smile trying to reassure him as he looked at her. "Con... Connie?"

"Yes-" Again he pulled the mask away from his face and looked towards her. "The things I could do to you..." She tried hiding the look on her face as Rita and Alicia looked at her. "Glad to see you're still with us Staff Nurse Masters." He began coughing and writhing about so Alicia moved the mask over his mouth again while Connie held him still.

He began to stop moving as the monitors came to life around them. "Hey, keep your eyes open for me... Look at me. Jacob look at me..." Connie panicked as there were more machines beeping around them.

"He's loosing too much blood. If we don't open this up now we're going to lose him." Connie reached for the equipment beside her before talking to Jacob.

"Jacob we need to get this bleed under control before sending you to theatre. This is going to hurt..." Connie made a cut in Jacob's arm causing him to make some noise. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry, keep still alright." Connie tried holding everything back but with every passing moment it was becoming harder.

Once done she began to pack the wound. Slowly the beeping dulled around her and things began returning to normal. "Okay that should do it to get him upstairs. We need to move him quickly." Connie moved with the bed walking to the lift with Max and Alicia.

"Jacob we're moving you upstairs to theatre okay. You're going to be okay, keep fighting for me alright." She felt Jacob squeeze her hand as he opened his eyes slightly. "I... I... I l-l-lo-ve-" "Shh, I know. Don't try to talk." Tears began to appear in her eyes as the doors opened to the lift. "Get him upstairs okay." Alicia nodded as she watched Connie walk off towards her office.

As soon as the door closed behind her she fell to the floor, tears flowing down her cheeks. He loves me. The tears didn't stop at any point as she sat on the floor of the office. She was more scared now than she'd ever been. He almost died, he still wasn't in the clear but she couldn't lose him.

She needed him, she just hoped he'd be there for her to tell him that...