Here's the gist. This WAS a FREE service. I will read your book without you having to follow me or read anything of mine in return (of course, I would appreciate it enormously if you did).
So, here is a basic set of rules:
- if you want me to read your stuff, fill out the form in the next chapter;
- you can submit as many books as you want (if you dare);
- I will read as many chapters as I want. Since it's my time, I can also read like 0,5 of your chapters;
- after I read it, I will write a short review which I will publish in this here book;
- the review will be BRUTAL. Proceed at your own risk. I will not sugar coat it. I won't be mean, especially if your writing is good, but I will be:
- sarcastic
- condescending
- demanding
- dismissive
- go fan girl crazy
Think of me as the Gordon Ramsey or Simon Cowell of Wattpad book reviews. So before you sign up make sure you can stomach a negative review.
I will not:
- remove my review;
- vote on your chapters until after I've finished the review (don't want to ruin your surprise)
- apologize for my opinion since you asked for it in the first place
- get into a whole fight with anyone about their story, or discuss said story. If you want to talk about it with me, PM me.
But wait, who are you to criticize my work:
Absolutely nobody. I am a reader, and a pretentious one at that. I enjoy quality books and recognize bad writing. My opinion might not matter, you are free to ignore it. But if I read your stuff and gave you my time, I get to have a say (which of course, you can ignore).
You're just mean.
Maybe, but I'm actually going for funny. Take everything as a spoof and don't feel offended. Feel free to take my suggestions or not. Burn your screen. Or have a good laugh at the expense of your work. All writers should do that once in a while.
The challenge: Can you handle it? And if you did, can your friends handle it? Challenge them to see if they can do any better. :)
IF you survive: If you wish and found the experience fun, I actually now have a sticker. That's right, you can ad the [I survived the most brutal review] STICKER to your cover.
Link to sticker: https://www.dropbox.com/s/y6euz7fas7977oy/Brutal%20review%20badge.PNG?dl=0
Link is also in the comments for easier access.
Also, you could ad the #Isurvivedthemostbrutalreview to your tags. That way, you survivors can all find each other and I can find you as well.
This way, you have something to show off to everyone and it spreads the word regarding my kindness.
Your greatest honor: being added to my to-read list. It means I really liked your story. Or getting asked for a read swap. It means I respect you as a professional and want your opinion on my stuff.
Ratings: Are totally random, so have fun with that. But I will rate your cover, blurb, language, plot and characters.
Right, let's get it on!
YOU ARE READING
The Evil Rant And Review Book
Random[CLOSED] Formerly The Evil Reading Request List, this has turned into a showcase of nasty reviews, a place for me to rant. I surprisingly don't rant a lot. The book was discontinued because real life is kicking my butt and I don't have the tim...
