The Evil Rant And Review Book

New Rules / Form / Payment

No, you are not delusional. This is open again!  I'm going to once again be delivering nightmares in the form of reviews.

But, since circumstances have much changed since the moment I started this, things are going to be a bit more differend.

What's this?

Still an evil book filled with evil reviews. That's not going to change. I'm going to mock your characters, tear your grammar apart and destroy your plot with my evil goat of destruction. I will also take a stab at wordiness and slash your giant paragraphs with my trusty katana.

So expect the following:

🐐 Brutal honesty - and I mean 100% unfiltered brutal honesty. See previous reviews for a clue;

🐐 Me making fun of anything. If anything about your story/writing can be funny, it's going to be called out;

🐐 Me pointing out what I actually like (if anything);

🐐 Me ringing the cliche bell viciously if need be.

Here's what I will not do:

🐐 Flame you. I'm not here to destroy you or your confidence in your writing.

🐐 accept any sort of bullying from authors or their fans. Don't like what I'm saying? Put on your big boy pants and ignore.

🐐 get into arguments with anyone over reviews. Read the rules before requesting.

RULES!!!!

Yes, it's big and bold and italic and in all caps so read carefully.

1. Big boy pants activated. Sense of humor activated. This is meant to show the flaws or highlights of your writing in a fun manner.

2. Read the rules. Seriously.

3. I don't do poetry or spiritual because I can't judge them. I do fanfic but I'm not into it so the review will probably be centered around your writing.

4. I will read as many chapters as I want. If you think the story comes alive at a certain chapter, mention it and I might reach it or at least skim to it (notice the might).

5. I will only accept 5 requests before I close this up again. When I'm done, I'll open it up again and the people I did not accept can try again.

6. The worse your story is, the bigger chance there is you'll get a review. Just sayin... I'm going for comedy.

7. This is no longer a free service. You must complete the payment after you're accepted. Only then am I even looking at your story. Should you not pay by the time all other reviews are done, you will lose your spot.

8. Each batch will contain a bonus review from my previous premium list because I owe those people stuff.

9. The password is password.

10. Be patient. I'm a VERY busy bee.

Payment

Wait. Dafuq is this? It used to be free!!!!!

Not anymore. I'm actually doing this again because I have no time to interact with the community of Wattpad in any other way. So from now on... yeah, you gotta pay.

1. Follow me - why? Because the dates for opening and closing the book will go on my wall. Not in the book. Yeah, I'm a bitch.

2. Pick your poison.  Chose one of my books and gimme some comments. How many? Well then... depends on their quality. It could be one big one or a whole bunch of small ones. I'm looking for feedback and improvement suggestions if any so generic comments don't count. Put some effort into it because I'll be putting some effort into your review.

3. Number of chapters? Anywhere from 3 to infinity and beyond. Yes you can comment on 3 chapter ones.

4. The Billionare's Revenge doesn't count for payment. It's a damn spoof.

5. Reply to your request comment to let me know that you're done. Also point out what you've read and how many chapters.

6. Why read more than 3? Because it will make me like you more and you'll maybe get a special treat in your review.

This shall be revisited but I'm tired and lazy.

What am I getting?

You're basically buying my time. And my funny. And a review in a book which people sometimes read for fun.

You also have the option of appearing in two review books for double exposure.

You're also getting some constructive advice and hopefully a good laugh.

Form

Title:

Genre:

Big boy pants?

Password:

Want to appear in the TWC review book as well?

Book for payment:

That is all. Have fun!