The Evil Rant And Review Book

Fractured

Author: JennieCamacho

Genre: Werewolf (again, *sigh*)

No. chapters read: 7

First impression: Why are dreams in bold? Is it because they are bold dreams?

Cover: Meh. It's a good cover, but I'm so sick of male muscles on a cover. I mean, come on! There are so many places you could take this: falling into nightmares, two wolves facing off, armies facing off, armies of wolves facing off... couches!

We get a male model running his hand through his hair. And he's not even Adam Levine. Nope. Love the title font, tough.

Cover rating: Meh

Blurb: The first two sentences are redundant since you get to show us that in the rest of the blurb. I like that it's short and to the point. I don't like that it's not very specific. There's a threat, he's weak and must face it. Good, but not enough. I feel it doesn't show the originality of your story.

Blurb rating: Good, but not Great

Let's get it on!

Second impression: Yay, edited work. I'm gonna read a couple of chapters. *a half an hour later after reading 7 chapters* What happened?

Actual review (drum roll please):

Language/writing: OMG, OMG, OMG! Edited work! Unedited, edited work! I like your style. It flows well and it's easy to read, but you're missing words, switching tenses at some point and have a few dialogue punctuation errors.

WHY?? Damn it, why? Your writing is so good that these little mistakes are annoying as fuck. Do you have any idea just how annoying fuck is? No? Kinda like the nine grammar mistakes in my blurb. THAT annoying!

You know what else is annoying? BOLD text. Why not use italics for the dreams? I know that's the norm. Bold does nothing for you. It makes me feel like I'm reading a really sad author's note.

But yeah, I'm only being tough on you because I really like how you use words and convey feelings. Especially feelings.

Language rating: Great, but not excellent. Give it another read through and make it excellent.

Plot:

So there's Logan who is the Alpha of a poor little wolf pack and he's a poor little Alpha because his mate died like three years ago and he's still having nightmares about it every night. That sucks. I feel sorry for Logan.

And, all of a sudden, some rogue wolves are causing troubles on their borders, kidnapping she-wolves and what not. So Logan has to go ask other Alphas for help because his pack is too small to be able to protect their borders properly.

On his merry journey, they run into a little pup which *dun dun dun* is actually a young woman who will probably become Logan's new mate.

I like the simplicity and straight-forwardness of the story and also the way the characters think and act. The plot isn't stellar, but it's not like I read much of the story yet. It was enough to make me like this book.

Also, props for the MC being a guy for once and not the Luna.

Plot rating: Me likey

Characters (not tractors. Yes, I mistype sometimes, but it was too hilarious, so I'm not changing it):

Logan - I liked how he could be hurt and not pathetic at the same time and how he's not an idiot. I enjoy being inside his head and he's a fun lead to follow around. He's not perfect, he can be rash, but he has a good head on his shoulders. The fact that he looks like Adam Lavine helps, too.

Griffin: Is really fun. The beta that everyone wants. I enjoyed his shenanigans.

Asher: has an awesome name. He's also more down to earth and I really like his character.

Alpha Phillips: Is a giant douche lord who should be put to sleep. Just sayin'... I'm wondering what he was trying to do with the chick because he definitely knew the pup was a girl. Wait! Was it his daughter????

The pup/chick: Is cute and cuddly and apparently a young woman. I like how Logan couldn't tell. I also wonder why. Am interested to see where she goes.

Character rating: Excellent - see, you actually get an excellent

Why I stopped reading: Because I made up my mind about the book. It's going into my to-read pile.

Grade: Pass. Not gonna lie, I really like the flow of your story, and as far as werewolf stories are concerned, yours is actually one of the better ones. Congrats! Grab that awesome sticker you made and use it!

Song: For Logan and Olivia, though it's the other way around, lol. Take care of it, I love it.