In good fun and fashion and before I actually get my shit together and go for the next book I have to review, I thought I should entertain you with another bonus. So put your panties on, this is going to be a short one.
Author: arcticstars
Title: The worst story on Wattpad
Genre: Humour
No. chapters read: 4
First impression: Okay, I'm sick of cliché books and this promises an awful, hilarious parody. You better not disappoint me, Rachel McAdams with bunny ears and no eyes or I'll hunt you down and I'll kill you. No MERCY!
Cover: Damn, I actually described the cover above. It's obviously from Mean Girls and it tells me absolutely nothing about the story. Yay?
Cover rating: Random as fuck
Blurb: It promises parody and hilarious content. It also has a offence warning which makes me want to read it even more. I want to mock every race/nationality/supernatural creature out there.
Blurb rating: Let the mocking begin!
Let's get it on!
Second impression: Ha ha ha ha ha!
Actual review (drum roll, please):
Language/Writing: Okay, for the life of me, I can't take this seriously. You know why? Because it's a freaking spoof. Technically, the grammar is fine. It's very easy to read, intelligible and OMG, look at all those funny words thrown in for good measure!
Nope, the writing and language is good. Moving on to more fun stuff (funner stuff?).
Language rating: The work of the devil
Plot: Bring out your fire truck because the cliché count is ON FIRE! Let's see:
- beautiful girl who thinks she's plain
- starting out in a new school in a new town
- people instantly like her even if she's an uninteresting recluse with the compelling personality of a paramecium
- the mysterious supernatural bad boy instantly falls in love with her
- two hot guys fight for her and one is obviously British
- One Direction makes an appearance
- stereotypical characters
- the cheerleader from hell
- Careless rich parents
I think I ran out of breath. Every possible cliché is thrown into this book to tell the story of Summerberry Applewinter Newtownsmith. And you know what? It's delicious.
And that ending! That stellar, unpredictable ending! Almost.
Honestly, I laughed so much at this. Because this is something anyone should read if they actually want to avoid cliches!
Plot rating: epically funny
Characters:
Summerberry Applewinter Newtownsmith: Is like the perfect Mary Sue. Everyone falls in love with her and the whole world revolves around her. She also is very witty, very aware of her surroundings and is incredibly sensible. Uh, wait, no. She's dumb as a rock. Or in her own words: Clearly, like a large number of teenage protagonists in teen fiction, I am brick stupid.
I couldn't have said it better myself.
Courtney: It the cheerleader from hell, clearly a devious monster out to get Summerberry's man and the work of the devil. Or, if you ignore Summerberry's retarded musings, she's a nice, lesbian cheerleader.
Xing: Is the stereotypical Asian girl, there to be the MCs best friend.
2Mas: The stereotype black man. Only speaks in bad text talk. (or l33t, how I like to call it)
British: The mysterious, British bad boy vampire love interest who is actually from Poland.
Susan: Summerberry's gay brother, who is there to be obscenely gay.
Alwolfo: The forced-to-marry abusive... husband? Who's also a werewolf and loves babysitting One Direction for some reason.
One Direction: They're just there as an indecipherable mass, just the way I like them.
The hot geography teacher: still doesn't have a name and apparently used to be a woman... Yup. The story gets that weird.
Character rating: OMG, they're hillarious!
Why I stopped reading: Because, unfortunately, after 4 short parts, the story is over. I'll tell you this, it's a happily ever after! *swoon*
Grade: Pass in roars of laughter. Honestly, go read this thing! It's the funniest thing ever. My review's got nothing on it! Great job, author!
YOU ARE READING
The Evil Rant And Review Book
Random[CLOSED] Formerly The Evil Reading Request List, this has turned into a showcase of nasty reviews, a place for me to rant. I surprisingly don't rant a lot. The book was discontinued because real life is kicking my butt and I don't have the tim...
