Chapter 45

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~Ricky

Angel has been talking a little more lately, not that much. But more that what she was before. It hurt seeing her like this.

It makes me think if she still loves Devin that way. I mean I know she loves me, but I'm pretty sure she still has feelings for Devin.

Anyways, all of us arrived at the ceremony. Devins parents get to speak, Angel, and Chris. Nobody else was really allowed to say anything.

~Angel

I didn't know what I was going to say at the Ceremony. I held Aubree in my arms while Ricky held Jayden. I missed Devin, dearly. But I'm going to live through this somehow.

I don't know how, but ill get there. I got pulled out of my thoughts when Ricky put his hand on my thigh, rubbing it reassuringly. "I love you." He whispered.

"I love you too." We arrived early, so we're waiting for everybody to finally get here. Of course, his parents are here, but I wanted to see his body.

Once they opened the casket, all hell broke loose. His mother was crying, I started tearing up, then ended up crying. Aubree put her hands on my cheeks and smiled, causing for me to smile. "I love you, baby girl." She giggled and smiled more. I laughed and kissed her head and got up, putting her on my hip. I slowly made my way towards Devin. When I reached him, I started tearing up. "I love you Devin." I said reassuringly. I knew he wasn't here, but I could feel as if he were here. Standing next to me. Which caused me to smile. I made my way back towards Ricky and sat down.

That's when all the people arrived.


**


"...Devin was the best possible son of all time. And I miss him so much. But we will not drag ourselves through hell just because hes gone." His mother finished taking her seat. Now it was Chris' turn. He walked up to the podium and made a loud sign.

"Devin was the best. He was one of the newest members of our band and I am eternally greatful to have had him in my life and in this band. Motionless In White will definatly not be the same without him, but I'm sure we will find some way. I want to thank his parents to have brought him into this world. We had a great experience. I hope he continues his life. No I don't believe in God, nor heaven. But he will be with us some how and continue his life in different ways. Rock in peace, Ghost." Finally, it was my turn.

I walked up to the podium after handing Ash Aubree. When I got up there i twiddled my thumbs and looked at Devin.

"Life will not be the same without Devin. He has made a huge impact on my life and I am eternally greatful. Devin and I had something special. No, I wasn't with him, I'm with Ricky. But at one point I was with him. We planned to get married and all that sorts of stuff. It makes me cringe because I feel like his death was my fault. No, it is my fault. He needed me the most but I wasn't there. And I'm furious with myself for this. He should be here; not me. He won't be able to have kids or get married. He won't be able to meet fans, or play bass, or any of this anymore. I'm glad I had him in my life, but I feel like my heart was torn out of my chest and stomped on millions of times. I miss him dearly. I hate the fact that my kids won't be able to get to know him. It sucks. It really sucks. And I'm sorry. I love you Devin." I said looking towards the casket. "Rock in peace my friend."

I walked back towards Ricky and sat down and let it out on his shoulder. He wrapped an arm around me and held me.

The funeral was over not to long after that. Devins buried six feet deep in the ground. It hurt like a bitch. I hugged his mother and comforted her until Aubree started crying.

We all went home and it was quiet. We ate food and such and I fed the kids.

After all that mess, i put the kids to bed and went to the room. I went to the bathroom and stripped naked and got in the shower. Not to soon after I got in, Ricky came and joined me.

"Hey." He said.

"Hey," I whispered.

"You okay?" I nodded and continued washing my hair. "I love you Angel. With all my heart."

"I love you too."

"Can you do something for me?"

"Of course."

"Marry me, Angel."

"I already said yes."

"I mean like in the next couple of months. Let's get married, and do this. Before our third child gets here." Fourth..

"Ricky,"

"Please?"

"Okay. I'll do it." his face lite up like a Christmas tree and then he pulled me in for a kiss. Causing him to pull away and spit.

"Ew, shampoo."

A/N: I love you all so much. Please don't ever commit suicide on me. Even if we don't personally talk, please come to me. I don't want to lose you.

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