Let's Pretend We Never Happened

Chapter2/Butterflies just died

Pain isn't kind in any way.
Pain is like everyone's sitting in the sunshine while I'm drowning, drowning in the rain and nothing compares to the pain of being empty.

I realised that nothing in this universe could be as heavy as the absence of the person you love.

It always comes as a shock, the moment you realise it's over. It's like - One day, you're flying with all the happiness in the world, and the other day you've fallen hard to the ground.

It's been seven days after our breakup. I didn't see him after that.
No calls
No text
Yes there were some from Victoria but I chose to ignore them.

I can't think straight.
Nothing seems to matter right now.

That feeling you get in your stomach when your heart is broken it's like all the butterflies just died.

I've been sitting on my chair, staring out of the window all day long.

How I wish I could go back and not make the mistake of loving him or how I wish someone could brainwash me.

But somehow I don't want the memories to go.

I still remember how his sweet little gestures made my day.

When I was standing at the school gate waiting for Victoria, that's when he came out and his beautiful green eyes met mine for the first time. There were tons of people but the way he looked at me from far behind, made my heart skip a beat.

When he borrowed my history textbook and wrote his number on every single page, with a heart.

When he called me my 'cupcake'

When he told me he liked me and we kissed for the first time.

When we went to Starbucks and on my coffee was written
'Will you be my girlfriend Tess Lancaster?'

When he filled my room with roses on Valentine's Day.

When I came to watch his football practice and he introduced me to his friends saying 'She's my girl'

When we completed one year of us being together and he took me out on a date.

When he held my hand,went on his knees and said-
"Look I didn't write this since I am an idiotic writer but I mean each and every word, so here it goes-Tess Lancaster, meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was my choice but falling in love with you was beyond my control. Yep you heard me. I love you. You are my every reason, my very hope and every dream I've ever had. And no matter what happens to us in the future, everyday we are together is the greatest day of my life and I will always be yours."

When he said "My time spent with you will never be enough"

When we went to the fair on New Year's Eve and he kissed me. Cliche I know but I kinda liked it.
We were seated on the Ferris wheel and that's when the clock struck twelve. We could see fireworks. It was the perfect timing. The best ending and starting of the year.

When he said "Loving you is like breathing. So, I can never give up on you"

How the hell did I get so attached?!

"Why" I yell on top of my voice and cry harder gripping the bed sheets.

I miss him so freaking much.
I miss his voice.
I miss his laughter.
I miss his touch.