The Accident // L.T.

Chapter 49

Next Day

-

I sat in the corner with my head in my hands as the boys struggled to tell Josie about Brianna as she had finally woken up from her sleeping meds.

She was honestly speechless for the first few minutes. I didn't blame her.

"She's going to die?" She repeats quietly.

"No I.. yeah well.. I don't know maybe." Niall says.

"Thats just what the nurse said." Zayn adds.

It goes silent for 5 minutes and I'm afraid to look up to see her reaction.

"Do.. Do I get to at least see her?" She asks sadly.

"Not sure. We could ask if you want." Harry tells her assuringly.

"Yeah... C-Can you give us a minute please?" She croaks.

I imagine the boys nodding as they leave and walk out of the room. I hear the door click close afterwards.

She sighs, "Louis.."

"I know.. You don't have to say it. Please, don't say it."

"Say what?"

I abruptly stand up, "That this is my fault!" I shout.

"This isn't your fault." She says calmly "The traffic lights were.."

"Yes it is! You don't have to try to sugar coat it Josie! I know you're mentally blaming me for this! Shit, I'm even blaming myself." He exclaims.

"Stop yelling at me! I'm not blaming you for anything! You couldn't control anything that happened, it just happened." She tells me.

"I fucked everything up! EVERYTHING! 6 months. 6 months of raising her and this happens," I throw my hands up emphasizing.

"No you.."

I suddenly began to ramble mindlessly as I paced back and forth.

"If I would've just paid more attention! We wouldn't be in this situation and still talking baby names and.." I finally trail off as I suddenly begin to cry again.

Running my hand through my hair, I could hear Jo trying to fit in words but I continued to ramble on.

"HEY!" She shouts getting my attention "Will you let me speak?" She exclaims.

I keep silent.

She sighs and turns to me, "Come here," she opens her arms.

I slowly walk over and sit on the edge of the bed.

But she grabs my arm and pulls me in closer. I can't exactly wrap my arms around her because her stomach still hurts from the many stitches and she can't sit up straight right now. So she has to lie down.

I sigh and lie my head onto her shoulder, pulling the cover over myself.

"I'm sorry."

"Stop saying sorry Louis, you've done nothing wrong." She tells me.

She lightly cups my face, "Louis you're acting like we already lost her.. we haven't!" She exclaims.

"Two to three days, remember? It's like you're losing complete faith in her." She wipes my tears.

"No, I just.."

"I know. You don't have to explain yourself, I get it. But I mean, there's still that chance that she survives through this," she reminds me calmly.

"I'm sorry Jo. Niall told me to be positive but I just can't help it.. I feel like this is just all my fault. I feel like Brianna hates me for doing this to her... I hate myself," I admit.