Underestimate Me ⇝ anakin skywalker x reader {book 1}

74.

I walked with Master Windu, it was the first time we had really been together in a long time.

We had just come back from the briefing on the war on Kashyyyk. Master Yoda, his troopers, and some of my troopers were there fighting off the Separatist forces.

There I also told of the findings that General Grievous has been spotted in the Utapau system. There it was decided that Obi-Wan would lead the mission.

"I know you wish this mission was given to you." Master Windu said, "But Master Kenobi has dealt with Grievous before, he has more experience. We need you here. Plus you did already kill one separatist leader, let someone else shine." He nudged me.

"I know, I know. It's just getting boring around here." I held my robes closer.

"(Y/N), you know a Jedi-" he started but I already knew what he'd say.

"A Jedi doesn't crave things like action. A Jedi craves peace." I said, robotically.

"Exactly, you do understand that, don't you?" He asked.

"Of course, these things are only easier said than done." I said, I looked over at him. This man has saved my life countless of times, he's been the one who has taught me everything I know, and yet I feel he may have lied to me.

"Master-" I started, I don't know why. I just felt this urge to tell him everything I was struggling with. But my mouth stopped itself, I wasn't able to. I was trapped in my mind and felt lost to find the right words. Master Windu stepped in front of me, he wanted me to tell him but I couldn't.

"Master, I've disappointed you. You tried so hard to get me to be a Jedi knight. And I haven't been very appreciative of your training. For that, I apologize." I said. It was mainly to save me from discussing my feelings of doubt.

"You are strong and wise, my apprentice. Through this war you've become almost as great as me." He joked, clapping a hand on my shoulder, "It was the will of the force that you were at my side. I've taught you everything I know. You've certainly made Jedi history, and I couldn't be more proud of you. The force has a great path for you, I know it."

"Thank you, Master." I bowed my head.

"If you'll excuse me, I do need to go meditate on a matter troubling me." He said, his face slightly faltering.

"Are you alright?" I asked, concern growing.

"Yes, my apprentice. There is just a strange feeling I've gotten in the force. It calls me to investigate." He tells me.

"Okay." I mutter. At least my feelings that there has been a shift in the force is not felt alone.

He leaves me and I stand looking out across the main Hangar of ships coming and going. I think about how Master Windu said I'm needed here.

I am to report on the Chancellor's doing. I feel trapped. Like I have no choice in the matter. I feel confined by my secrets and the corruption that the Jedi are facing. All I am on either side of this coin is a pawn. And I'm tired of it. I'm tired of being forbidden to be human, I'm tired of losing the ones I love, I'm tired of the pain I'm feeling that no one seems to understand.

I went back to Anakin's room and sat there. I wanted to ask him something. I needed to talk to him. But I couldn't go anywhere else to find him.

I know this morning he was off overseeing a mission and giving advice to younglings. Yoda has asked him to come in often, and since he's going to be a father he's getting practice with little ones.