Voyage

CHAPTER18

When I woke up Kevin, Happy and Emmet were there with me.

"Skylar" Emmet breathed and I stared at him for a while, I wanted to say some stupid joke but instead I just cried and he pulled me into him arms. "It's okay" he soothed "I'm here now"

Those words made my heart swell.

"I'm sorry I let you go out there" Kevin said.

"It's not your fault" my voice sounded raspy and my throat burned.

I tried to stay awake as long as I could but it was so hard and I felt so safe in Emmet's arms that I just drifted off.

The second time when I woke up it was just me and Emmet, he seemed to be asleep and he had his hand on my thigh.

What was wrong with him? What did he want from me? Why was he being so nice? Was it some kind of bet? Did he have any idea how much he had hurt me already, how much I had cried because of him? I had felt so lost after he stopped talking to me and I was starting to recover and now he was being nice again and soon he would leave and hurt me again. Why was I even stressing about him, he wasn't mine. He probably had some hot babe with a nice body waiting for him.

"Skylar?" he asked his voice raspy.

Let me tell you raspy and deep is the best combination in a boys voice, it literally raised goosebumps on my skin.

"Yeah?"

"Are you crying?"

"No silly I'm not crying" I kept my head down by tucking in my chin until it started hurting.

"Tell me what's wrong, are you sore?"

"I don't know I'm not sure"

"Am I making you uncomfortable, do you want me to leave?"

"No!" I clung to his t-shirt then slowly let go "I meant that I don't know what I want, I'm feeling kind of fuzzy, my head hurts and you are here with me and I don't know what to make of that, it scares me, it really does because I know that this won't last you just feel sorry for me after a while we will be home and you won't be talking to me again and its gonna hurt really bad and I don't want that but I don't want you to go away either, I just want you to like me" I was rambling.

"I do like you and I'm not gonna leave unless I suddenly drop dead which won't be my fault"

"Stop joking about death I don't like it, it's not funny"

"I'm sorry but you understand what I'm saying" I stayed quiet "I don't want to hurt you Skylar and when I do its never on purpose you are just so complicated I never know what to do with you or what to say and I always end up messing up"

The words I've been wanting to hear for so long, I dreamt about them but then maybe I was dreaming now.

"You don't mess up"

"Yeah I do, remember the day I came to your house and told you I didn't love you?" there it comes his gonna tell me again, oh god I don't wanna relive that.

"Yeah"

"I thought I was doing the right thing but then I heard you cry in the bedroom and I felt bad I started to doubt everything that I had thought was right"

What is this? Is the world ending? Or Is it just my life? Oh god am I dead? Is my brain making this all up?

"You were just being honest and I appreciate that" I sighed.

"But see I wasn't being honest" somebody do something "I lied, Skylar I'm dying and I don't want to hurt you on purpose, I mean I knew there was a possibility you liked me but I had always hoped you'd tell me you didn't and maybe somehow that would make everything okay"