Voyage

CHAPTER24

"Emmet you are not listening to me"

"No, I'm not"

"Fine, I'll just go"

"Don't go" he grabbed my arm gently

"You want me to stay and watch you die? I can't do that"

"I'm gonna die anyway" he had this sick grimace on his face.

"And you think you smoking is helping slow down that process? Damn it Emmet, its making you worse"

"I don't care" he yelled "I don't" he said in a low voice.

"Well I do" I swallowed the lump in my throat "And I'm not gonna sit here and watch you throw your life away"

"What does that mean?" I didn't answer him "Skylar?"

I shook my head.

"I have to go" I said.

"Skylar please" he voice was begging.

"There's nothing more to be said Emmet you have made yourself clear and I'm tired of yelling at you" he looked at me with so much pain in his eyes, his jaw flexed.

"You are leaving me" his voice wavered, he thought I was giving up on him, how could I explain to him how wrong he was.

"Maybe you need some time out, sometime away from me"

"No! I don't want time out, I don't want to be away from you"

"Maybe but spend time with your friends and think things through"

"I don't want my friends I want you" he yelled, he was so angry.

His words shook me to the core but I wouldn't allow myself to react.

I walked away.

"Damn it Skylar don't leave me!" his anger still underlined the words but most of all he sounded desperate.

It had been five hours since I had fought with Emmet and I felt sick to my stomach, he had called so much that I had switched off my phone.

"Skylar?" my father knocked lightly on the door and I wiped my tears quickly.

"Yes daddy" I sat up.

"I haven't seen you the whole day, is everything okay?"

"Yeah, I'm just really tired"

"Emmet has been asking to talk to you"

"He called you?"

"Yes"

"What the hell is wrong with him?"

"What happened, did you guys fight?"

"No" I lied but the way he looked at me, I just couldn't hold It together, I nodded "We fought and I had to walk away from him" I cried and he hugged me "I love him so much daddy" I cried, my heart ached.

"I know sweetie but sometimes you have to do what's best for the both of you"

My dad left when he was sure I wouldn't kill myself or do something I might regret.

I stayed up late with Kevin talking about anything but Emmet or love, we listened to the playlist we had made together.

When Kevin had gone to bed I was left alone with my thoughts, I couldn't escape them everything was drawing me to Emmet, his jacket that was behind my pillow, the strange stone he bought me because he had thought it was a lot like my soul. The picture he took with me when I was asleep, there were so many things.

I loved him and he was dying, he was scared and I was scared. The realization came crushing down on me like a truck, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't cry, I needed help. I tried talk myself out of it over and over but in the end I ended up doing it. With bandages on standby and after I cleaned up everything felt okay, I would forgive myself one day for doing this. I looked in the mirror and I couldn't recognize the person I saw.

I took my phone and texted Emmet.

Skylar

*I know you are angry and I'm angry but I just wanted to tell you that I love you and I don't want you to go to bed sad and angry* 00:01

After that I switched off my phone.

We had three weeks off before the schools would open for the last term, I was dying. Every time I had a memory of Emmet my heart ached and my body tingled from the need of his touch, I thought about him often, who am I kidding? I thought about him all the time. I had thought with time I would forget what it felt like but I couldn't, I sometimes picked up my phone to call him but didn't and when he did call I wouldn't answer the phone and I would cry myself to sleep.

Kevin stopped going around to Happy so he could keep an eye on me, mom told me to snap out of it, dad thought I looked like a zombie, he never said it to me but I had overheard him saying it to mom, like Kevin he was trying desperately to help pull me through. Mr. O'Brian had since moved out, Sammy came to visit me sometimes and I tried to hold it together for him, he was growing so fast.

I heard my dad talking to Kevin.

"Maybe we should kill Emmet" Kevin suggested.

"Maybe we should kill them both and put them out of their misery, have you seen what that boy looks like? His father doesn't even know what to do anymore" my dad sighed, they both sighed.

Two weeks had passed since I had seen Emmet or spoken to him and today was raining, the clouds were dark and I felt like the weather was in tune with my now constant mood.

My phone rang, it was Emmet again. I knew he had come over a couple times but I know my parents had made him go away each time.

Every cell in my body screamed for me to answer it while my subconscious told me to take that damn phone and throw it out the window. I answered it.

"Hello?" I said.

"Skylar" I couldn't believe how good it felt to hear his voice, it was like taking my first breath after being under water for a long time.

"Emmet"

"It's so good to hear your voice" he said, he sounded so tired.

"Same here" I said trying to hide every emotion that was bubbling up inside of me and the intense need to cry out for him to come get me.

"I need to see you"

"Emmet"

"Please" he begged and I couldn't deny him, I also wanted to see him.

"At the park in twenty?"

"Okay" he said and I hung up, my heart was pounding.

I took off my pyjamas and put on tracksuits and a cap.

"Where are you going?" Kevin asked. Him and my father were seated at the kitchen probably discussing me.

"Out"

"Need a ride, it's raining out there"

"No" I went out into the rain, it was light and gentle. I walked slowly to the park feeling my heart pounding violently against my chest as the thought of seeing Emmet crossed my mind. My arm was itching like hell.

I spotted his jeep not too far from the entrance then I saw him, he was facing away from me but I could literally feel my heart in my throat, I felt like I was gonna be sick, when I reached him I poked his back and he turned around, squinting through the rain as soon as he looked at me my legs failed me and I started crying but he caught me and engulfed me in one of those bear hugs of his that I had missed so much.