I think you could watch out on your spelling, but it's mostly okay. Also some of the things that people say to her, doesn't sound very realistic.
I also think when Moaning Myrtle dies, it could have a bit more description.
To make Anastasia seem more real, don't make her as cliche. She sounds way to perfect. Everyone has flaws, I know one of her flaws is how horrible she is, but there could be others.
The conversation seems fine, just work on their insults, and don't have her being insulted everywhere she goes. Nobody wants to read a book where the character is being insulted to much, it gets really tedious.
I think it's a good story, that I enjoyed reading, it certainly didn't bore me.
Much love⭐
-Always_a_slytherin
YOU ARE READING
HP Fanfiction Help (closed for catch up)
RandomThis is a book to help aspiring Harry Potter fanfiction writers! If you would like your fanfic reviewed in detail, we're here to help! We will give you feedback and constructive criticism in order to help you improve your Harry Potter fanfiction. (V...
