HP Fanfiction Help (closed for catch up)

Oh, Darling!

By @SiriuslySarcastic

I can't really describe how I feel about this one... I read it quite some time ago, before I joined Writers Climax.

It's just, AMAZING! IT IS A PHENOMENA: ITS REMARKABLY EPIC!
IT IS PROBABLY ONE OF THE MOST GRIPPING STORIES EVER!!!!

I REALLY LOVE THE STORY OF THE BOY WHO NEVER GREW OLD ITSELF, BUT THIS IS HARRY POTTER PLUS PETER PAN!!! THIS IS A STROKE OF GENIUS!

Ok let's get to the facts: It is AMAZING, from head to toe and from vocabulary to the plot line, to the originality of each character!
Its Wattys worthy!

One improvement you can make is probably contained within your speech.
For example if I take an extract from Chapter 4:

"Ask her out for Valentine's Day," Gwen smirked at him. "You don't have a date, do you?"

If I'm correct in my assumptions, wouldn't the full stop be a comma? You've done this a lot so I thought I'd correct it.
If a sentence is not yet finished I'm pretty sure you add one.

BUT ITS AMAZING OVERALL! I skipped a little 'Mature Content' because I don't feel comfortable reading such, but it's really great!

- BELLFLOWER_